Bulletin Board Pix

CHAPTER 12: The first growl

AFTER A MOMENT'S pause, Beelzebub continued:

"This story of anathema reminds me of another story, which may provide very useful material for understanding the strangeness of the psyche of the threebrained beings of that planet which has taken your fancy. Furthermore, it may reassure you a little and give you some hope that, even if these peculiar terrestrial beings did learn how you had insulted them and should anathematize you, things might not turn out so badly for you after all.

"The story I am going to tell you is about something that happened quite recently among the three-brained beings of that planet, and which came about as follows:

"In one of their large 'communities,' there existed quite peaceably an ordinary being who was by profession a 'writer.'

"Here you must know that in long-past ages one could occasionally run across beings of that profession who still invented and wrote something really by themselves, but in later epochs, and especially in recent times, writers have been of the kind that only copy out all sorts of ideas from many books already in existence, and fit them together to make a 'new' book. And in general they prefer books that have reached them from their remote ancestors.

"I must point out that the books fabricated by contemporary writers, taken all together, are the principal factor in diluting the Reason of all the other three-brained beings there until it has become, as the venerable Mullah Nasr Eddin says, 'thinner than air.'

"And so, my boy, the contemporary writer I was speaking of was just a 'writer' like all the rest of them, and was nothing particular in himself.

"One day, after finishing one of his books, he began to wonder what to write about next, and decided to look for some new 'idea' in the books piled up in his 'library,' which every self-respecting writer there feels obliged to have.

"As he was rummaging about, a book called 'The Gospels' fell into his hands.

"'The Gospels' is the name given there to a book written once upon a time by a certain Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John about Jesus Christ, a Messenger from our Endlessness to that planet.

"This book is widely circulated among the three-centered beings there who nominally exist according to the indications of this Messenger.

"And when this 'writer' happened to come across that book, the notion suddenly popped into his head: 'Why shouldn't I also write a gospel?'

"According to certain investigations that I had to make for quite different needs of mine, he must then have deliberated as follows:

'Am I any worse than those ancient barbarians, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Johnnie?

'At least I am more cultured than they were, and I can certainly write a much better gospel for my contemporaries.

'What is more, a gospel is the very thing that is needed just now, because the "English" and "Americans" have a great weakness for this book, and the rate of exchange of their pounds and dollars is "not half bad" just now.'

"No sooner said than done.

"From that day forth he 'wiseacred' away at his new gospel. And from the moment it was finished and given to the printer, there began a whole series of unexpected events.

"At any other time, perhaps nothing would have happened and this new 'gospel' of his would simply have slipped into its niche in the libraries of the bibliomaniacs there among the multitudes of other books expounding similar 'truths.'

"But fortunately or unfortunately for this writer, it happened that certain 'power-possessing beings' of the great community in which he existed had just been having rotten luck at 'roulette' and 'baccarat' in various resorts abroad, and kept on demanding what is called 'money' from the ordinary beings of their community, whereupon, thanks to these inordinate demands, these beings at last awakened from their usual 'torpor' and began to 'sit up.'

"Seeing this, the 'power-possessing beings' who had stayed at home became alarmed and took appropriate measures.

"Among these measures was the total and immediate destruction of anything new that appeared in their native land that could possibly keep the ordinary beings of their community from falling back into their torpor.

"It was just then that this writer's 'gospel' appeared.

"In the contents of this new 'gospel,' the power-possessing beings found certain things which, in their understanding, might keep the ordinary beings from hibernating again, and so they immediately decided to get rid of both the writer and his 'gospel,' for by now they had become past masters at getting rid of native 'upstarts' who did not mind their own business.

"But for certain reasons they could not treat this writer in that way This

threw them into a quandary, and they hemmed and hawed about what to do. "Some proposed simply to shut him up in a place teeming with 'rats' and 'lice', others to send him to 'Timbuktu,' and so on and so forth, but in the end they decided to anathematize both him and his 'gospel,' with public ceremony and according to all the rules, no doubt in the very same terms in which they would have anathematized you had they learned how you had insulted them.

"And so, my boy, it was there that the strangeness of the psyche of the contemporary three-brained beings of that peculiar planet showed itself; in the case of this writer, when he and his 'gospel' had been publicly anathematized, the result was, as the highly esteemed Mullah Nasr Eddin says, 'just roses, roses.'

"What happened was this:

"When the ordinary beings of that community saw what a fuss was made over this writer by the power-possessing beings, they became greatly interested in him, and bought and read avidly not only this new 'gospel' of his but also all the books he had written before.

"Whereupon, as is usual with the three-centered beings breeding on this peculiar planet, they gradually neglected all their other interests, and talked of nothing but this writer, some praising him to the skies while others denounced him.

"The upshot of all this discussion and controversy was simply to increase the number of those interested in him, not only in his own community but in others as well.

"And this occurred because some of the power-possessing beings of that community, their pockets bulging with money, continued to go to foreign resorts where 'roulette' and 'baccarat' were played; and, still arguing about this writer, little by little they infected the beings of other communities.

"In short, owing to the strangeness of their psyche, it has gradually come about that even today, when this 'gospel' has long since been forgotten, the name of its author is known almost everywhere as that of an excellent writer.

"Anything he ever wrote is seized upon and regarded as indisputable truth.

"Everybody now regards his writings with the same veneration as was felt by ancient Kalkians when they listened to the prophecies of their sacred 'pythonesses.'

"Here it is interesting to remark that if at the present time you were to ask any of the beings there about this writer, he would certainly recognize his name and speak of him as an extraordinary being.

"But if you went on to ask what he had written, it would turn out that most of them, if of course they confessed the truth, had never read a single one of his books.

"All the same they would talk about him and discuss him, and splutteringly insist that he was a being with an unparalleled mind and a phenomenal knowledge of the psyche of the beings dwelling on the planet Earth."

CHAPTER 13: Why in man's Reason fantasy may be perceived as reality

MY DEAR and kind Grandfather, will you please explain to me, if only in a general way, why is it that the beings on the planet Earth take the ephemeral for the real?"

To this question of his grandson, Beelzebub replied:

"On the planet Earth this particularity in the psyche of the three-brained beings arose only during later periods; and it arose only because their predominant part, formed in them as in all three-brained beings, gradually allowed the other parts of their total presence to perceive every new impression without fulfilling what is called 'being-partkdolgduty,' that is to say, merely as such impressions are generally perceived by one or another of their independent localizations known as 'being-centers.' Or, to put it in their language, they believe everything anybody says, instead of believing only what they have been able to verify by their own 'sane deliberation'—in other words, only those convictions they have reached as a result of confronting and evaluating the data already deposited in them, which have given rise to different conceptions in each of their localizations of diverse nature.

"In general, a new conception is crystallized in the presences of these strange beings only if Mr. Smith speaks of somebody or something in a certain way; then if Mr. Brown says the same, the hearer is quite convinced that it is just so and could not possibly be otherwise. Thanks to this particularity of their psyche, most of the beings there, having heard the writer I spoke of praised so highly, are at present quite convinced that he is a very great psychologist, with an incomparable knowledge of the psyche of the beings of his planet.

"As a matter of fact, when I was on that planet for the last time and, having heard of this writer, once went to see him myself on quite another matter, I found him, according to my understanding, just like all the other contemporary writers there, that is, extremely limited or, as our dear Mullah Nasr Eddin would say, 'unable to see further than his nose.' As regards any knowledge of the real psyche of the beings of his planet in actual conditions, he might safely be called a 'complete ignoramus.'

"I repeat, the story of this writer shows in a very characteristic way to what extent the three-brained beings who have taken your fancy, particularly the contemporary ones, fail to fulfill 'being-partkdolgduty,' and how there are never crystallized in them any subjective being-convictions formed by their own logical deliberations—as in general is proper to three-brained beings— but instead, only those convictions are crystallized that depend exclusively upon the opinions of others.

"And it was only because they failed to fulfill 'being-partkdolgduty'— which alone enables a being to become aware of genuine reality—that they saw in this writer some perfection or other that was not there.

"This strange trait of their psyche, that of being satisfied with whatever Smith or Brown says without trying to know more, became rooted in them long ago, and now they no longer make the least effort to know anything that can be understood solely by their own active reflection.

"It must be said here that the blame for this lies neither in the organ kundabuffer, which was implanted in their ancestors, nor in its consequences, which were crystallized in them because of a mistake on the part of certain Sacred Individuals, and which later began to pass by heredity from generation to generation.

"No, they themselves are to blame for it, on account of the abnormal conditions of external ordinary being-existence they gradually established, and which have progressively fostered in their common presence what has now become their 'inner evil god,' called 'self-calming.'

"But you will understand all this very well for yourself later on when I give you, as I promised, more information about the planet that has taken your fancy.

"In any case, I strongly advise you to be most careful in the future, when you refer to the three-brained beings of that planet, not to offend them in any way. Otherwise, as they say, 'With what may the Devil not joke?'—they might hear about your insulting them and, to use another of their expressions, 'lay you by the heels.'

"There is no harm in recalling here another wise saying of our dear Mullah Nasr Eddin:

'What on earth will happen next? A flea might swallow an elephant!'

Beelzebub was about to say something more, but at that moment a ship's attendant entered and handed him an "etherogram" in his name.

When Beelzebub had finished listening to the contents of the "etherogram" and the attendant had gone, Hassein turned to him and said:

"Dear Grandfather, please go on and tell me more about the three-centered beings arising and existing on that interesting planet called 'Earth.'"

Beelzebub, looking at his grandson once again with a particular smile, made a strange gesture with his head and continued.

CHAPTER 14: Introducing a perspective that promises nothing very cheerful

I MUST TELL you that in the beginning the beings on that planet had the same presence as those of all the 'keschapmartnian' three-brained beings arising on all the corresponding planets of the whole of our Great Universe, and that they also had the same duration of existence as all other three-brained beings.

"The various changes in their presence began for the most part after the second misfortune had occurred to this ill-fated planet, during which its chief continent, existing under the name of 'Atlantis,' entered within the planet.

"From that time on, they created all sorts of conditions of external being-existence that caused the quality of their radiations to go steadily from bad to worse And Great Nature was thus compelled gradually to transform their common presence through various compromises and changes, in order to regulate the quality of the vibrations they radiated, which were required chiefly to preserve the being-welfare of the former fragments of their planet.

"For the same reason, Great Nature gradually increased the number of beings there to such an extent that they are now breeding on all the lands of that planet.

"The exterior forms of their planetary bodies are all much alike, and of course in respect of size and their other subjective characteristics, each of them is coated—just as we are—in accordance with heredity, with the conditions existing at the moment of conception, and with the other factors that serve in general as causes for the arising and formation of every being.

"They also differ among themselves in the color of their skin and in the type of hair they have, and these characteristics of their presence are determined, as everywhere else, by the effects of that part of the surface of their planet where they arise and are formed until they reach responsible age; or, as they say, become 'adult.'

"As for their psyche, its fundamental traits have precisely the same peculiarities in all of them, no matter where they arise. And among these is that special property thanks to which only on that strange planet in the whole of the Universe does there occur the horrible process called the 'process of the destruction of each other's existence' or, as they call it on that ill-fated planet, 'war.'

"Besides this chief particularity of their common psyche, certain properties in each of them, regardless of where they arise and exist, are completely crystallized and become an integral part of their common presence, properties that exist under the names of 'egoism,' 'self-love,' 'vanity,' 'pride,' 'conceit,' 'credulity,' 'suggestibility,' and many others no less abnormal and unbecoming to the essence of any three-brained being whatsoever.

"Of these abnormal properties the most terrible one for them is 'suggestibility.'

"Sometime I will tell you specially about this extremely strange property of their psyche."

Having said this, Beelzebub became thoughtful, this time for longer than usual; then, turning again to his grandson, he said:

"I see that the three-brained beings arising and existing on the peculiar planet called 'Earth' interest you very much and, as during our voyage on the ship Karnak we shall have to talk about many things to while away the time, I shall tell you all I can about them.

"To give you a clear understanding of the strangeness of their psyche it will be best if I tell you about my descents in person to the planet Earth, in the order in which they took place, and about the events that occurred there of which I myself was a witness.

"I personally visited the surface of the planet Earth six times, and each of these visits was brought about by a different set of circumstances.

"I shall begin with my first descent."

CHAPTER 15: Beelzebub's first descent to the planet Earth

"I DESCENDED to that planet Earth for the first time," Beelzebub began, "on account of a young being of our tribe who had the misfortune to become seriously involved with a three-brained being there, and in consequence got himself mixed up in a very stupid affair.

"One day several beings of our tribe, who were also dwelling on the planet Mars, came to my house with a request.

"They told me that one of their young kinsmen had emigrated to the planet Earth some 350 Martian years earlier, and that recently he had been the cause of an incident with very disagreeable consequences for all of them.

"They went on to say:

'We, his kinsmen, those of us existing on the planet Earth and here on Mars, at first intended to deal with this unpleasant situation by ourselves, with our own resources. But in spite of all our efforts and the measures we have taken, we have so far been unable to accomplish anything. 'And now, being finally convinced that we are unable to settle this unpleasant affair alone, we venture to trouble you, Your Right Reverence, and beseech you to be kind enough not to withhold your wise advice as to how to find a way out of our unhappy situation.'

"They then described in detail the misfortune that had befallen them.

"From all they told me I saw that this incident was disagreeable not only for the kinsmen of this young being but also quite possibly for all the beings of our tribe. So I could not do otherwise than undertake at once to help them settle this difficulty of theirs.

"At first I tried to help them without leaving the planet Mars, but when I became certain that it would be impossible to do anything effective from so far away, I decided to descend to the planet Earth and there, on the spot, to find some way out The very next day, taking with me everything that might be necessary, I flew there on the ship Occasion.

"I may remind you that the Occasion was the ship on which all the beings of our tribe were transported to that solar system and that it had been left for our use in interplanetary communication.

"This ship was based on the planet Mars, and its supreme command had been entrusted to me from Above.

"And so it was on this ship Occasion that I made my first descent to the planet Earth.

"On this first visit of mine, our ship landed on the shores of that very continent which later, during the second misfortune to this planet, disappeared entirely from its surface This continent was called 'Atlantis,' and was then the principal place of existence for the three-brained beings of that planet, and likewise for most of our tribe.

"Having disembarked, I went straight from the ship Occasion to the city named 'Samlios,' where that unfortunate young being of our tribe who was the cause of this descent of mine had the place of his existence.

"Samlios was at that time a very big city and the capital of the largest community on the planet Earth.

"This city was the dwelling place of the head of this large community, who was called King Appolis It was with King Appolis that our young, inexperienced countryman had become involved.

"And it was in Samlios that I learned all the details of the affair.

"It seems that before this incident our unfortunate countryman, being on friendly terms with the king, was often at his palace.

"And one day, while visiting the king, in the course of conversation our young countryman made a 'wager' that was the starting point of all that followed.

"You must remember that the community over which King Appolis reigned, and the city of Samlios where he existed, were at that period the greatest and richest on the Earth.

"For the upkeep of all this wealth and grandeur, King Appolis naturally needed a great deal of what is called 'money,' and for this exacted a great deal of labor from the ordinary beings of that community.

"Here I must remark that at the time of my first descent in person to this planet, the organ kundabuffer no longer existed in the three-brained beings who interest you. But in some of them various consequences of the properties of that organ, so maleficent for them, had already begun to be crystallized.

"In the period to which my tale refers, there had been thoroughly crystallized in a number of beings on that planet the consequence of one property which, while the organ kundabuffer itself was still functioning in them, had enabled them, without 'remorse of conscience,' to neglect all their obligations, whether taken upon themselves voluntarily or imposed by a superior. Whenever they did carry out an obligation, it was done only from apprehension and fear of threats from outside.

"And it was just this consequence, already crystallized in certain beings of that period, that was the cause of this whole affair.

"And so, my boy, King Appolis, who was extremely conscientious himself about the obligations he had assumed to maintain the greatness of the community entrusted to him, did not spare either his own labor or wealth, while demanding the same from all his subjects.

"And since the mentioned consequence of the properties of the organ kundabuffer had by then, as I have just said, been thoroughly crystallized in certain of his subjects, he had to employ every possible kind of 'intimidation' and 'threat' to extract from everyone all that was needed to maintain the greatness of the community.

"His methods were so varied, and at the same time so reasonable, that even those of his subjects in whom these consequences had already been crystallized could not help respecting him, although they nicknamed him, of course behind his back, the 'Arch-Cunning.'

"Well, my boy, the methods used by King Appolis to extract from his subjects what was necessary for maintaining the greatness of his community seemed to our young countryman, for some reason or other, unjust, and he grew restive and indignant whenever he heard of some new device of the king's for getting what was required.

"And so one day, while talking with King Appolis, our naive young countryman could no longer contain his indignation and told the king to his face what he thought of his 'unconscionable' conduct toward his subjects.

"The king did not fly into a temper, as usually happens on the planet Earth when somebody pokes his nose into what is none of his business, nor did he have him thrown out by the scruff of his neck Instead he even discussed the whole question with him and explained the reasons for his severity.

"They talked for a long time, and the outcome of their conversation was a 'wager,' that is, they made an agreement, and set it down on paper, and each one signed it with his blood.

"Among other things, it was agreed that, from then on, the king would employ only the measures and means indicated by our countryman to obtain what was needed from his subjects.

"And in the event that his subjects failed to contribute all that was required of them according to custom, our countryman would be responsible; and he pledged himself to procure for King Appolis's treasury whatever was necessary for the maintenance and further expansion of the capital and the whole community.

"And so, my boy, from the very next day the king did indeed fulfill most honorably the obligation he had assumed in the agreement, and he conducted the government exactly as our young countryman indicated. The results of this sort of government, however, very soon proved to be quite the opposite of those anticipated by our simpleton.

"The subjects of that community—chiefly, of course, those in whom the consequences of the properties of the organ kundabuffer had already been crystallized—not only stopped paying into the treasury what was required, but even began pilfering what had already been put in.

"As our countryman had undertaken to furnish whatever was needed, even signing the agreement with his blood— and you know what the voluntary undertaking of an obligation means to one of our tribe, especially when signed with his blood—he soon had to begin making up to the treasury all that was lacking.

"First he put in everything he had himself, then everything he could get from his kinsmen on the planet Earth. And when they had been drained dry, he turned to his kinsmen dwelling on the planet Mars.

"But soon on the planet Mars also his sources ran dry, and still the treasury of the city of Samlios demanded more and yet more, and there was no end in sight.

"It was just then that all the kinsmen of this countryman of ours became alarmed, and decided to appeal to me to help them out of their plight.

"So, my boy, when we arrived in the city of Samlios I was met by all the beings of our tribe who had remained on that planet, both old and young.

"That same evening we called a general meeting to take counsel together in order to find some way out of the situation.

"To this first meeting we also invited King Appolis, with whom our elder countrymen had already had many talks with the same aim in view.

"And that evening the king, addressing himself to all, began as follows:

" 'Impartial friends! Personally, I am deeply sorry for what has happened and for all the trouble it has brought to those assembled here; and I am distressed in all my being that it is beyond my power to extricate you from the difficulties ahead.

'You must know,' the king continued, 'that the machinery of government of my community, set in motion and established for centuries, is now radically changed. To revert to the old order is already impossible without provoking the wrath of most of my subjects. Things have reached a point where by myself I am not able to undo what has been done without bringing on serious consequences, and therefore I beg you all, in the name of justice, to give me your help.

'I bitterly reproach myself,' he added, 'in the presence of all of you, because I am also greatly to blame for all these misfortunes.

'And I am to blame because I ought to have foreseen what would happen, for I have existed longer in these conditions than my young adversary, your kinsman, with whom I made the agreement known to you all.

'To tell the truth, it was unpardonable of me to take such a risk with a being who, though perhaps of much higher Reason than myself, is certainly less practiced than I am in affairs of this kind.

"'Once more I beg all of you, and Your Right Reverence in particular, to forgive me and help me find a way out of this sad predicament.

"'As things are now, I can only do what you will indicate.'

"After King Appolis had left, we decided to choose from among ourselves several elderly experienced beings who, that very night, would weigh all the data and draw up a plan of action.

"The rest of us then left, with the understanding that we would reassemble the next evening at the same place; but to this second meeting the king was not invited.

"At this next meeting, one of the elders who had been selected the night before reported as follows:

'We pondered this lamentable affair the whole night through, and discussed it in all its details, and we have come to the unanimous conclusion that there is no way out but to revert to the former conditions of government.

'Further, we are all in agreement that a return to the former order would unquestionably set off a revolt among the citizens of the community, and that this revolt would certainly be followed by all those consequences that have become inevitable on Earth in such circumstances.

'And of course many of the "power-possessing beings" of this community would suffer terribly, and could even be completely destroyed; and above all it seems impossible that King Appolis could escape such a fate.

"'We then deliberated further to find some means of diverting these unhappy consequences, if only from the king himself.

" 'And we wished at all costs to succeed in this because at our general meeting yesterday evening King Appolis was very frank and friendly with us, and we should all be extremely sorry if he should have to suffer.

" 'After much deliberation, we finally concluded that the king could be saved only if, during the expected revolt, the fury of his rebellious subjects could be diverted from his own person to those around him, that is, the members of his "government."

"'But then the question arose would those near the king be willing to take upon themselves the consequences of all this? And we came to the categorical conclusion that they would not consent to this, for they would surely be convinced that the king alone had been to blame, and that therefore he should be the one to pay for it.

"'After all this, and again unanimously, we came to the following decision.

"'To save at least King Appolis from such a disaster, we must, with his consent, replace all the beings now holding responsible posts with beings of our own tribe, and while this "mass psychosis" is at its climax, each of them will have to take upon himself his share of the anticipated consequences.'

"When our representative had finished his report, after a brief exchange of views we decided unanimously to do just as the elder beings of our tribe had advised.

"We then sent one of our elders to put the plan before King Appolis, who agreed to it and renewed his promise to do everything according to our directions.

"Whereupon we resolved to delay no longer, but to begin the very next day replacing all the officials with members of our tribe.

"But after two days it turned out that there were not enough beings of our tribe dwelling on the planet Earth to replace all the officials of that community, so we at once sent the ship Occasion to bring some more of our beings from the planet Mars.

"Meanwhile King Appolis, guided by two of our elder beings, began under various pretexts to replace numbers of officials with our beings, at first in the city of Samlios.

"And when, several days later, our ship Occasion returned from the planet Mars, similar replacements were made in the provinces, and soon everywhere in that community all the responsible posts were filled by beings of our tribe.

"When all these changes had been made, King Appolis, still under the guidance of our elders, began to restore the former code of laws for the administration of the community.

"Almost from the first days, the restoration of the old order, as had been foreseen, began to have its effect upon the general psyche of the beings in whom the mentioned consequences of the properties of the maleficent organ kundabuffer had been thoroughly crystallized.

"Discontent steadily increased until, not long after, that impulse arose among them which has become proper to the presence of the three-brained beings of that planet, and which from time to time inevitably moves them to start the process they now call 'revolution.'

"During this 'revolution' they destroyed—as has also become proper to those three-brained phenomena of our Great Universe—a great deal of the wealth they had accumulated over the centuries, as well as much hard-won 'knowledge,' which was lost forever. And they likewise destroyed the existence of many of their fellow beings who had already chanced upon the means of freeing themselves from the consequences of the properties of the organ kundabuffer.

"Here it is interesting to note one most astonishing and incomprehensible fact, namely, that during their subsequent revolutions almost all the three-brained beings there who fall into that 'psychosis,' or at least the overwhelming majority, always destroy the existence particularly of those beings similar to themselves who happen to be more or less on the track of freeing themselves from the crystallized consequences of the properties of that maleficent organ kundabuffer which, unfortunately, their ancestors had possessed.

"So, my boy, while the process of their revolution was running its course, King Appolis retired to one of his summer palaces outside the city of Samlios.

"Nobody laid a finger on him, because our beings had prepared their propaganda so that the whole blame should be placed not upon the king but upon those around him, that is, the members of his government.

"Moreover, the beings who had fallen into this psychosis even 'grieved' for their king and pitied him, saying that this miserable revolution had broken out because their 'poor king' had been surrounded by such disloyal and ungrateful subordinates.

"When the revolutionary psychosis had completely died down, King Appolis returned to Samlios and, again with the help of our elder beings, began replacing our countrymen with those of his former officials who were still alive, or with new ones appointed from among his subjects.

"And when the king had reestablished his former policy, his subjects again began filling the treasury with money and obeying their king's commands, and the affairs of the realm once more settled down into the old established tempo.

"As for our naive, unfortunate countryman who had been the cause of it all, it was so painful for him that he could no longer bear to remain on the planet that had proved so disastrous for him, and he returned with us to the planet Mars.

"And later he even became an excellent governor there for all the beings of our tribe."

CHAPTER 16: The relativity of the concept of Time

AFTER A BRIEF silence Beelzebub continued "In order for you to have a more exact idea of the strange psyche of those three-brained beings who have taken your fancy and who breed on the planet Earth, and in general a better understanding of everything about this peculiar planet, in my opinion it is very necessary for you to have an accurate conception of how they calculate Time, and of how the being-sensation in their presence of what is called the 'process of the flow of Time' has gradually changed and what it has become today.

"This must be made clear to you because only then will you be able to represent to yourself and understand the events on that planet I have already spoken about and those I shall tell you about later.

"First of all, you must know that in calculating Time the three-brained beings of that planet take the 'year' as the basic unit, just as we do, and they define the duration of their year as the time it takes for their planet to make a certain movement in relation to another cosmic concentration—that is to say, the period during which their planet, in the process of 'falling' and 'catching up,' describes what is called a 'krentonalnian revolution' around its sun.

"This corresponds to our reckoning of a year on the planet Karatas, based upon the period of time between those moments when the sun 'Samos' and the sun 'Selos' are nearest to each other.

"A hundred of these years of theirs the beings of the Earth call a 'century.'

"They divide the year into twelve parts and each part they call a 'month.'

"And they determine the duration of this month by the time it takes for the larger fragment, separated from the Earth—the one they now call 'Moon'—to complete, according to the cosmic laws of falling and catching up, its full krentonalnian revolution around their planet.

"It must be remarked that twelve krentonalnian revolutions of the Moon do not correspond exactly to a single krentonalnian revolution of their planet around its sun, and they have therefore made some compromise or other in calculating these months of theirs, so that the total corresponds more or less to reality.

"Further, they divide their month into thirty 'days,' as they call them.

"And a day they reckon as that span of time during which their planet makes a complete rotation on its axis, under the action of the same cosmic laws.

"Bear in mind, by the way, that they also use the word 'day' to mean that 'trogoautoegocratic' process we call 'kshtatsavakht,' which periodically takes place in the atmosphere of their planet, as on all other planets where the cosmic process called 'ilnosoparno' is actualized. And when this occurs, they say 'it is daytime.'

"As regards the opposite process, which we call 'kldatsakhti,' they call it 'night' and say 'it is dark.'

"Thus the three-brained beings breeding on the planet Earth call their longest unit of measure of time a 'century,' and this century consists of a hundred 'years.' A year has twelve 'months,' a month has an average of thirty 'days.' Further, they divide their day into twenty-four 'hours,' their hour into sixty 'minutes,' and the minute in its turn into sixty 'seconds.'

"But since you, my boy, do not yet have any idea of the exceptional peculiarities of Time, you must first be told that genuine Objective Science defines this cosmic phenomenon thus:

"'Time in itself does not exist, there is only the totality of the results issuing from all the cosmic phenomena present in a given place.'

"Time in itself no being can understand by Reason or perceive by any outer or inner being-function It cannot even be sensed by any gradation of the instinct present in every more or less independent cosmic concentration.

"It is possible to evaluate Time only by comparing different cosmic phenomena occurring under the same conditions and in the same place where Time is being considered.

"It should be noted that in the Great Universe all phenomena, without exception, wherever they arise and are manifest, are simply successive, lawful 'fractions' of some whole phenomenon which has its prime arising on the Most Holy Sun Absolute.

"In consequence, all cosmic phenomena, wherever they proceed, have an 'objective' significance.

"And these successive, lawful fractions are actualized in every respect, even in the sense of their involution and evolution, according to the fundamental cosmic law, the sacred Heptaparaparshinokh.

"Time alone has no objective significance, since it is not the result of the fractioning of any definite cosmic phenomenon Issuing from nothing, but always blending with everything while remaining self-sufficiently independent, Time alone in the whole of the Universe can be named and extolled as the 'Ideally Unique Subjective Phenomenon.'

"Thus, my boy, Time or, as it is sometimes called, the 'Heropass,' is unique in having no source on which its origin depends, and it alone, like "divine Love," always flows independently and blends proportionately with all the phenomena present in all the arisings in any given place in our Great Universe.

"Again I say, you will only be able to understand clearly everything I have just told you when I specially explain to you, as I have already promised, all the aspects of the two fundamental laws of world-creation and world-maintenance.

"Meanwhile, simply remember this: since Time has no source of its arising, and its presence cannot be precisely established, as can be done for all other phenomena in every cosmic sphere, Objective Science has, for its examination of Time, the same 'standard unit' that is used to determine exactly the density and quality, in the sense of the vivifyingness of their vibrations, of all cosmic substances present in every place and in every sphere of our Great Universe.

"And this standard unit for the evaluation of Time has always been the moment of what is called 'sacred egokoolnatsnarnian sensation,' which appears in the Holy Cosmic Individuals dwelling on the Most Holy Sun Absolute whenever the vision of our Uni-Being Endlessness is directed into space and directly touches their presence.

"This standard unit was established in Objective Science to make it possible to define and compare with precision the different degrees of subjective sensation of conscious Individuals as well as what are called the 'diverse tempos' of the various objective phenomena which are manifested throughout the spheres of our Great Universe, and which engender all cosmic arisings, both large and small.

"The chief particularity of the process of the flow of Time consists in this: it is perceived in the same way and in the same sequence by the presences of all cosmic formations of different scales.

"To give you at least some notion of what I have just been saying, let us take as an example the process of the flow of Time in any drop of water in that decanter on the table.

"Each drop of water in that decanter is, in itself, a whole independent world—a world of 'microcosmoses ' In that little world, just as in other cosmoses, there arise and exist relatively independent, infinitesimal 'individuals' or 'beings.

"For the beings of that little world, Time flows in the same sequence as that in which it is sensed by all individuals in all other cosmoses These infinitesimal beings, like the beings of cosmoses of other scales, have the experience of a definite duration for each of their perceptions and manifestations and, like other beings, sense the flow of Time by comparing the duration of phenomena around them.

"Like the beings of other cosmoses, they are born, grow up, unite and separate for what are called 'sexual results', they also fall ill and suffer, and ultimately, like everything existing in which Objective Reason has not become fixed, they are as such destroyed forever.

"The entire process of existence of these infinitesimal beings in their tiny world requires a proportionate duration of time, which as in other worlds ensues from all the surrounding phenomena manifested on that cosmic scale.

"For them also a definite length of time is required for the process of their arising and formation, as well as for the various events in the course of their existence up to their final and complete destruction.

"In the whole course of existence of the beings in this drop of water certain definite and successive what are called 'periods' of the flow of Time are also required.

"A definite time is needed for their joys and for their sorrows, in short, for every kind of indispensable being-experiencing, down to what are called 'runs of bad luck' and even including 'periods of thirst for self-perfection.'

"I repeat, among them, too, the process of the flow of Time has its harmonious sequence, and this sequence ensues from the totality of all surrounding phenomena.

"In general, the duration of the process of the flow of Time is perceived and sensed in the same way by all cosmic individuals and by all completely formed units endowed with instinct, the only difference being due to the quality of their presence and of their state at the given moment.

"However, my boy, it must be pointed out that although, for separate individuals existing in independent cosmic units, the definition of the flow of Time is not objective in the full sense of the word, their experience acquires a sense of objectivity for them, since they perceive the flow of Time according to the completeness of their own presence.

"The same drop of water we have taken as an example can serve to give you a clearer understanding of this thought of mine.

"Although, from the standpoint of universal objectivity, the period of the process of the flow of Time in that drop of water is, for the whole of it, entirely subjective, yet for the beings existing within the drop of water itself, this same period of the flow of Time is perceived as objective.

"To clarify this idea, those beings called 'hypochondriacs' who exist among the three-brained beings of the planet Earth can serve as another example.

"It often seems to these terrestrial hypochondriacs that time passes infinitely slowly or, as they would say, it 'drags phenomenally tediously.'

"In exactly the same way, it may occasionally seem to some infinitesimal beings in that drop of water—assuming, of course, that there happen to be 'hypochondriacs' among them—that time drags phenomenally tediously.

"But in fact, according to the sensation of the duration of Time of your terrestrial favorites, the whole existence of these 'microcosmoses' lasts only a few of their 'minutes,' and sometimes only a few of their 'seconds.'

"Now, my boy, so that you may understand Time and its peculiarities better, let us compare your age with the corresponding age of a being existing on the planet Earth.

"And for this comparison we must take the same standard unit of Time that Objective Science uses for such calculations.

"Bear in mind, first of all, that Objective Science has established— according to data about which you will learn later when I have specially explained to you the fundamental laws of world-creation and worldexistence— that all normal three-brained beings, and among them of course those arising on our planet Karatas, sense the sacred 'egokoolnatsnarnian' action, by which they define Time, forty-nine times more slowly than it is sensed by the Sacred Individuals dwelling on the Most Holy Sun Absolute.

"Consequently, the process of the flow of Time is forty-nine times quicker for the three-brained beings of our Karatas than for the beings on the Sun Absolute, and this is the speed at which it also should flow for those breeding on the planet Earth.

"Moreover, it is calculated that, during the period of time in which the sun Samos completes its movement of closest approach to the sun Selos—the period considered as one 'year' on our Karatas—the planet Earth completes 389 krentonalnian revolutions around its sun Ors It follows from this that our year, according to the conventionally objective calculation of Time, is 389 times longer than the period which your favorites consider a year.

"You will surely be interested to know that these calculations were given to me in part by the great Arch-Engineer of the Universe, His Measurability, the Archangel Algamatant—may he be perfected unto the Holy Anklad! He explained them to me when, on the occasion of the first misfortune to the planet Earth, he came to the planet Mars as one of the sacred members of the third Most High Commission And further calculations were given me by the captain of the trans-space ship Omnipresent, with whom I had several friendly talks on my journey home from exile.

"Now you should note that you, as a three-brained being who arose on the planet Karatas, are at present only a twelve-year-old boy and, with regard to Being and Reason, exactly like a boy of twelve on the planet Earth who is still unformed and not yet aware of himself, an age all three-brained beings there live through in the process of growing up to the Being of a responsible being.

"All the features of your whole psyche—your 'character,' 'temperament,' and 'inclinations,' in short, all the particularities of your psyche that are manifested outwardly—are exactly the same as those of an immature and still pliant three-brained being there at the age of twelve.

"And so, from all I have just said it follows that although, according to our calculation of Time, you are only a boy of twelve, not yet formed and not yet aware of himself, like any boy of that age on the planet Earth, nevertheless, according to the calculation based upon the subjective understanding of your favorites and their being-sensations of the flow of Time, you have already existed not twelve but all of 4,668 years.

"Thanks to all I have said, you will have material for clarifying certain factors that later were the cause of the gradual diminishing of the average normal length of their existence, until it has now become, in the objective sense, 'almost nothing.'

"Strictly speaking, this gradual diminution, which has finally reduced the average length of existence of the three-brained beings of that ill-fated planet to 'almost nothing,' had not one but many and varied causes. "Among these, the first and principal cause was, of course, that Nature had to adapt herself correspondingly in order to change their presence little by little into what it is now. As for the other causes, it must be said in all justice that they might never have arisen on that ill-fated planet had that first cause not occurred, from which, in my opinion, all the others followed, though of course very gradually.

"You will understand all this, my boy, in the course of my further tales about these three-brained beings, for the moment I shall speak only of the first and principal cause, that is, of why and how Great Nature herself was compelled to take stock of their presence and to give it a new form.

"To begin with, you should know that throughout the Universe there exist two 'kinds,' or two 'principles,' of duration of being-existence.

"The first principle of being-existence, called 'fulasmtamnian,' is proper to all three-brained beings arising on any planet of our Great Universe And the fundamental meaning and aim of their existence is to serve as the vehicle for the transmutation of cosmic substances necessary for the 'common-cosmic trogoautoegocratic process.'

"The second principle of being-existence is the one to which all one-brained and two-brained beings are subject, wherever they may arise And the meaning and aim of the existence of these beings also consists in the transmutation through them of cosmic substances, which are required, in their case, not for purposes of common-cosmic character, but for that solar system alone, or even for that planet alone within which or upon which these one-brained and two-brained beings arise.

"In any event, to make clearer the strangeness of the psyche of those three-brained beings who have taken your fancy, you must know that, in the beginning, after the organ kundabuffer with all its properties had been removed from their presence, the duration of their existence conformed to the 'fulasmtamnian' principle, that is to say, they were obliged to exist until there was coated in them, and completely perfected in Reason, what is called the 'kesdjan body'—or, as they themselves later named it, the 'astral body'—which, by the way, contemporary beings know of only by hearsay.

"But afterward, my boy, for reasons you will learn about in the course of my further tales, they began to exist exceedingly abnormally, that is to say, in a way quite unbecoming to three-brained beings; so that on the one hand, they ceased to emanate the vibrations required by Nature for the maintenance of the detached fragments of their planet, while on the other, impelled by the chief peculiarity of their strange psyche, they began to destroy beings of other forms on their planet, thereby gradually diminishing the number of sources required for this purpose. And in order to obtain the equilibrium of the vibrations required, both in quality and quantity, Nature herself was compelled to adapt the presence of the three-brained beings gradually to conform to the second principle, called 'itoklanotz,' that is, to actualize them in the same way as one-brained and two-brained beings.

"As regards the meaning of the principle of 'itoklanotz,' I shall also specially explain it to you sometime.

"Meanwhile remember that although in the beginning the reasons for the dwindling of the duration of existence of the three-brained beings of that planet were not dependent on them, yet later the main grounds for all the sad results were—and are even more so today—the abnormal conditions of external ordinary being-existence established by them themselves.

"Owing to these conditions, the duration of their existence has become shorter and shorter so that now, if one compares it with that of three-brained beings of other planets in the whole Universe, the difference is as great as between their own duration of existence and that of the infinitesimal beings in the drop of water we took as an example.

"Do you understand now, my boy, that even the Most Great Heropass, that is, Time, has been compelled to actualize an obvious absurdity in the presence of those unfortunate three-brained beings who arise and exist on the planet Earth?

"In any case, thanks to all I have explained to you, you will be able to put yourself in the position and understand the although merciless yet always, and in everything, just Heropass."

Having uttered these words, Beelzebub became silent. When he spoke again to his grandson, it was with a deep sigh:

"Ekh . . . my dear boy! Later, when I have told you more about the three-brained beings of that ill-fated planet Earth, you will understand it all for yourself and form your own opinion about everything.

"You will understand very well that although the primary cause of the general chaos reigning on that ill-fated planet Earth was certain 'unforeseeingnesses' from Above on the part of various Sacred Individuals, nevertheless the chief cause of all the evils that followed is to be found in the abnormal conditions of ordinary being-existence they themselves gradually established, and continue to establish, down to the present time.

"In any case, my dear boy, when you learn more about these favorites of yours, not only will you see how pitiably short the duration of the existence of these unfortunates has become compared with the normal duration long since established as lawful for every kind of three-centered being in our Great Universe, but you will also understand that, for the same reasons, any normal being-sensations whatsoever in regard to any cosmic phenomena have gradually disappeared and are now quite absent in them.

"Although, according to the conventionally objective reckoning of Time, the beings of that ill-fated planet had their arising several decades ago, they have not as yet any being-sensation of cosmic phenomena, as is proper to all three-centered beings of the whole Universe, nor have these unfortunates even the least representation in their Reason of the true causes of these phenomena. They do not even have an approximately correct representation of those cosmic phenomena that proceed around them on their own planet."

CHAPTER 17: The arch-absurd: According to the assertion of Beelzebub, our sun neither lights nor heats

"SO, MY DEAR Hassein, in order that you may have some idea of how completely the function called the 'instinctive sensing of reality,' proper to every three-brained being of the whole of our Great Universe, is lacking in the presence of the three-centered beings breeding on the planet Earth—especially in those of recent periods—it will be enough for the moment to tell you how they understand and explain to themselves the reasons why there occur periodically on their planet the cosmic phenomena they call 'daylight,' 'darkness,' 'heat,' 'cold,' and so on.

"All the three-brained beings of that planet who have reached responsible age, under the influence of the many and various wiseacrings they call 'sciences,' are without exception categorically convinced that these phenomena arrive on their planet completely ready-made, as it were, directly from their own sun and, as Mullah Nasr Eddin would say in such cases, 'no more hokey-pokey about it.'

"What is most peculiar about this is that, apart from certain beings who existed there before the second transapalnian perturbation, not a single one of them has ever had the least doubt about this conviction of theirs.

"Although their Reason, strange as it is, does bear some resemblance to sane logic, none of them has ever yet suspected the causes of these phenomena, nor has anyone manifested in this regard that peculiar trait of their common psyche, proper to the three-brained beings of that planet alone, known as 'fantasizing.'"

Having said this, Beelzebub continued with a bitter smile:

"You, for instance, have the normal presence of a three-brained being and an 'oskiano'—or, as they say on the Earth, 'education'—intentionally implanted from outside in your presence, and founded upon a morality based solely on the commandments and indications of the Uni-Being Himself and the Most Holy Individuals near Him. And so, if you should chance to be among the beings of that planet, you would be unable to contain your 'being-parkhitrogool,' or what they call 'irrepressible inner laughter,' at their astonishment if they should suddenly sense clearly, and understand beyond all doubt, that not only does nothing like 'light,' 'heat,' and so on come to their planet from their sun, but that this supposed 'source of heat and light' is itself almost always freezing cold, like the hairless dog of our highly esteemed Mullah Nasr Eddin.

"In reality, the surface of their 'source of heat,' like that of all the ordinary suns of our Great Universe, is perhaps more covered with ice than the surface of what they call the 'North Pole.'

"Surely this 'glowing hearth' would rather borrow a little 'heat' from some other source of cosmic substances than send part of its own to any planet, least of all to that one which, because of the splitting off of a whole side, has become a lopsided monstrosity, and is now a source of 'offensive shame' for that poor system Ors.

"But you yourself, my boy, do you know how and why there are produced in the atmosphere of certain planets during trogoautoegocratic processes the phenomena of 'kshtatsavakht,' 'kldatsakhti,' 'tainolair,' 'paischakir,' and others, which your favorites call 'daylight,' 'darkness,' 'heat,' 'cold,' and so on? If you do not understand this clearly, I will tell you a little more about it.

"Although I promised to explain all the fundamental laws of world-creation and world-existence in detail sometime later it appears necessary, in order to help you grasp what we are speaking of and assimilate in the right way all I have already told you, to touch now, if only briefly, upon questions concerning these cosmic laws.

"First of all, you must know that everything in the Universe—all that was intentionally created and all that has automatically arisen—exists and is maintained solely on the basis of the 'common-cosmic trogoautoegocratic process.'

"This most great common-cosmic trogoautoegocratic process was actualized by our Endless Uni-Being when there already existed the Most Great and Most Holy Sun Absolute, on which our All-Gracious Endless Creator had and still has the chief place of His existence.

"This system, which maintains everything that arises and exists, was established by our Endless Creator to permit the 'exchange of substances,' or 'reciprocal feeding' of everything existing, to proceed in the Universe, so that the merciless Heropass would no longer have its maleficent effect on the Sun Absolute.

"This most great common-cosmic trogoautoegocratic process is actualized, always and in everything, on the basis of the two fundamental cosmic laws, the first of which is called 'the fundamental first-order sacred Heptaparaparshinokh,' and the second 'the fundamental first-order sacred Triamazikamno.'

"Owing to the action of these two sacred cosmic laws, there first arise from the substance called 'ethernokrilno,' under certain conditions, various what are called 'crystallizations', and from these crystallizations there later arise, also under certain conditions, various large and small, more or less independent, definite cosmic 'formations.'

"And it is just within and upon these cosmic formations that the processes called 'involution' and 'evolution' take place, of course also according to the two fundamental sacred laws; and all the results obtained from these processes in the atmospheres— and furthermore, by means of these same atmospheres—blend to assure the actualization of this 'exchange of substances.'

'Ethernokrilno' is the primordial substance with which the whole Universe is filled, and which is the basis for the arising and maintenance of everything that exists.

"In regard to this. Objective Science declares that everything in the Universe without exception is material.

"You should also know that only one cosmic crystallization, known as the 'Omnipresent Okidanokh,' although also crystallized from ethernokrilno, has its prime arising from the three holy sources of the sacred 'Theomertmalogos,' that is, from the emanations of the Most Holy Sun Absolute.

"Everywhere in the Universe this Omnipresent Okidanokh, or 'omnipresent active element,' takes part in the formation of all arisings, both great and small, and is in general the principal cause of most cosmic phenomena and, in particular, of those proceeding in the atmospheres.

"So that you may have at least some understanding of this Omnipresent Okidanokh, let me tell you that the second fundamental cosmic law—the sacred Triamazikamno— consists of three independent forces; that is to say, this sacred law manifests itself everywhere and in everything in the Universe, without exception, in three separate and independent aspects.

"And these three aspects exist in the Universe under the following names:

The first, the Holy Affirming; The second, the Holy Denying; and The third, the Holy Reconciling.

"This is why Objective Science, among other statements about this sacred law and its three independent forces, has the following formulation 'A law whose consequences always become the cause of further consequences, and which always functions by means of three independent and quite opposite manifestations, latent within it as properties neither seen nor sensed.'

"Our sacred Theomertmalogos, that is, the prime emanation of our Most Holy Sun Absolute, is subject at its very arising to this same law, and in its further actualizations gives results in conformity with it.

"The Omnipresent Okidanokh obtains its prime arising in space outside the Most Holy Sun Absolute from the blending of these three independent forces into one, and in the course of its further involutions, it is correspondingly changed in the 'vivifyingness of its vibrations' during its passage through what are called the 'stopinders,' or 'centers of gravity,' of the fundamental sacred Heptaparaparshinokh.

"I repeat the Omnipresent Okidanokh, among other definite cosmic crystallizations, unfailingly participates in all cosmic formations, both large and small, wherever they arise in the Universe and whatever the external surrounding conditions.

"This common-cosmic 'unique crystallization,' or 'active element,' has several particularities proper to it alone, and it is chiefly owing to these particularities that most cosmic phenomena occur—among others, those we have spoken of that take place in the atmosphere of certain planets.

"While, as I said, there are several particularities of the 'omnipresent active element,' it will be enough for our present talk if we become acquainted with just two of them.

"The first consists in this when a new cosmic unit is being concentrated, the 'omnipresent active element' does not blend as a whole with this new arising, nor is it transformed as a whole in any definite place in it—as occurs with all other cosmic crystallizations in all these cosmic formations—but as soon as it enters as a whole into any cosmic unit, there immediately occurs in it what is called 'djartklom,' that is, it is dispersed into the three fundamental sources from which it arose Then these three sources, each separately, give rise to the independent concentration of three new distinct formations within the cosmic unit And in this way the 'omnipresent active element' actualizes, at the beginning of every such new arising, sources for the possible manifestation of its own sacred law of Triamazikamno.

"It must also be noted that in every cosmic formation, in order to assure the perception and further utilization of this property of the 'omnipresent active element' for the purpose of a corresponding actualization, these separate sources exist and have the possibility of functioning as long as the given cosmic unit exists.

"And only after the given cosmic unit has been completely destroyed do these holy sources of the sacred Triamazikamno, localized in the 'omnipresent active element' Okidanokh, reblend, to be again transformed into Okidanokh, but now with vibrations having a new quality of vivifyingness.

"As regards the second particularity of the Omnipresent Okidanokh, also proper to it alone, and which it is now essential to elucidate for our talk on this subject, you will be able to understand this only if you know something about a fundamental second-order cosmic law existing in the Universe under the name of the sacred 'Aieioiuoa.'

"This cosmic law may be expressed thus 'Every arising, large or small, when in direct touch with the "emanations" of the Sun Absolute itself or of any other sun, undergoes a process called "remorse," during which each of its parts, issuing from the results of one of the holy sources of the sacred Triamazikamno, "revolts" as it were, and "criticizes" the former unbecoming perceptions and the manifestations taking place at the moment in another part of its whole—a part issuing from the results of another holy source of the same fundamental sacred law of Triamazikamno.

"The 'omnipresent active element' Okidanokh itself is also subject to this sacred process of Aieioiuoa, or 'remorse.'

"During this sacred process, as long as the action of the sacred Theomertmalogos or the emanation of any ordinary sun is directly affecting the whole of its presence, the 'active element' separates into its three primordial parts, which then exist almost independently, but when the direct action ceases these parts blend again to exist once more as a whole.

"Here, by the way, it will be good to tell you an interesting fact about the strangeness of the psyche of the ordinary three-brained beings of the planet that has taken your fancy—a fact that relates to their 'scientific speculations,' as they call them During the long centuries of my observation and study of their psyche, I had occasion to remark more than once that, although science appeared among them from almost the very beginning of their arising and, like everything else there, periodically reached a more or less high degree of perfection, and though millions of so-called 'scientists' must have arisen among them, not once did the thought enter the head of any one of them— with the single exception of a certain Chinese named Choon Kil Tess, about whom I will tell you later in detail—that there is any difference whatever between the two cosmic phenomena they call 'emanation' and 'radiation.'

"Not one of these 'sorry scientists' has ever realized that the difference between these two cosmic processes is comparable to that which our highly esteemed Mullah Nasr Eddin once expressed in these words 'They are as much alike as the beard of the famous English Shakespeare and the no less famous French armagnac.'

"To understand more about the phenomena taking place in the atmospheres and about the 'omnipresent active element' in general, you must also know and remember that during the periods when, owing to the action of the sacred Aieioiuoa, the process of 'djartklom' takes place in the Okidanokh, there is temporarily released the portion of pure— namely 'totally unblended'— ethernokrilno that unfailingly enters into all cosmic formations and serves, as it were, to connect all the active elements of any given formation; and afterward, when the three principal parts of Okidanokh re-blend, this portion of pure ethernokrilno is restored.

"Now let us touch briefly on another question, that is, the relationship of the 'omnipresent active element' Okidanokh to the common presence of every being and the cosmic results arising from this.

"It is necessary to touch on this question chiefly because it will bring out a very striking fact, which will help you grasp the differences between the various brain systems of beings, called the 'one-brained,' 'two-brained,' and 'three-brained' systems.

"First of all, you should know that every cosmic localization known as a 'brain' takes its form from crystallizations for whose arising the affirming source is one or another of the corresponding holy forces of the fundamental sacred Triamazikamno contained in the Omnipresent Okidanokh. And the holy forces are further actualized in the presence of beings precisely through these localizations.

"Some other time I will give you a special explanation of the process of the arising of being-brains in the presence of beings; meanwhile, let us talk a little about the results which the Omnipresent Okidanokh actualizes by means of these being-brains.

"The 'omnipresent active element' Okidanokh enters the presence of beings through the three kinds of 'being-food.'

"And it does so because, as I have already told you, Okidanokh necessarily participates in the formation of all the products that serve as being-food, and is therefore always present in them.

"Well, my boy, the essential peculiarity of the Omnipresent Okidanokh is that, in this case, it undergoes the process of 'djartklom' in the presence of beings independently of any contact with the emanations of a large cosmic concentration; and the factors for this process are either the results of 'partkdolgduty' consciously actualized by the beings themselves— which I will later explain to you in detail—or that process of Great Nature existing in the Universe under the name of 'kerkoolnooarnian actualization,' which consists in 'obtaining the required totality of vibrations by adaptation.' This latter process takes place in beings without any participation whatever of their consciousness.

"In both cases when Okidanokh enters the presence of a being and undergoes the process of 'djartklom,' each of its fundamental parts blends with those perceptions present in the being at the moment which correspond to it according to what are called 'kindred vibrations,' and it is then concentrated upon the corresponding localization, that is, upon the corresponding brain. These blendings are called 'being-impulsakri.'

"Note well, my boy, that these localizations, or brains, not only serve as apparatuses for the transformation of corresponding cosmic substances for the purposes of the most great common-cosmic Trogoautoegocratic but are also the means whereby the conscious self-perfecting of beings is possible.

"This latter aim depends upon the quality of the 'being-impulsakri' concentrated or, as is otherwise said, deposited onto the being-brains.

"Concerning the quality of the 'being-impulsakri,' there is one special commandment, among the direct commandments of our All-Embracing Endlessness, which is strictly observed by all normal three-brained beings of our Great Universe, and is expressed in the words 'Always guard against such perceptions as may soil the purity of your brains.'

"Three-brained beings have the possibility of personal self-perfecting because of the localization in their common presence of three centers, or three brains, upon which, when the Omnipresent Okidanokh undergoes the process of 'djartklom,' the three holy forces of the sacred Triamazikamno are deposited and acquire the possibility of further, this time independent, actualizations.

"The point is that beings having this three-brained system can, by the conscious and intentional fulfilling of being-partkdolgduty, utilize for their own presence the three holy forces liberated from the Omnipresent Okidanokh by the process of 'djartklom,' and so bring their presence to what is called the 'sakronoolantsaknian' state, that is to say, they can become Individuals who have their own sacred law of Triamazikamno, and thereby the possibility of consciously taking in and coating in their common presence that 'All-Holy' which, among other things, helps to actualize the functioning in cosmic units of objective or divine Reason.

"Nevertheless, my boy, Just here lies the great terror The three-brained beings of the planet Earth also have, up to the time of their complete destruction, these three independent localizations, or being-brains, through which the three holy forces of the sacred Triamazikamno, which they might use for their own self-perfecting, are transformed for further actualizations, yet, because of the abnormal conditions of ordinary being-existence established by them themselves, these possibilities beat their wings in vain.

"It is interesting to note that in the three-brained beings of the planet Earth these being-brains are found in the same parts of the planetary body as in us. That is:

"The brain predetermined by Great Nature for the concentration and further actualizing of the first holy force of the sacred Triamazikamno, called the 'Holy Affirming,' is localized in the head.

"The second brain, which transforms and crystallizes the second holy force of the sacred Triamazikamno, the 'Holy Denying,' is placed in them, as in us, along the whole length of the back, in what is called the 'spinal column.' "But as for the place of concentration and source for further manifestation of the third holy force of the sacred Triamazikamno, namely, the 'Holy Reconciling,' the exterior form of this being-brain in them bears no resemblance whatever to ours.

"You must know that in the earliest three-brained beings there, this being-brain was localized in the same part of the planetary body as in us, and had exactly the same exterior form, but for many reasons you yourself will come to understand in the course of my talks, Great Nature was constrained to alter this brain little by little and to give it the form it has in contemporary beings.

"In your favorites of the present day this being-brain is not localized in one whole mass, as is proper to the presence of all other three-brained beings of our Great Universe, but is split up into parts and each of these parts, according to its 'specific functioning,' is localized in a different place in their planetary body.

"Although, in its exterior form, this being-center of theirs now has different places of concentration, nevertheless all its separate functionings have corresponding connections with one another, so that the sum total of these scattered parts can function exactly as is proper for it to function.

"They call these separate localizations in their common presence 'nerve nodes.'

"It is interesting to note that most of these places of concentration are located in the very region of the planetary body where this being-brain would normally be, that is, in the region of the chest, and the totality of these nerve nodes they call the 'solar plexus.'

"And so, my boy, in the presence of each one of your favorites, the Omnipresent Okidanokh undergoes the process of 'djartklom,' and in them also, each of its three holy forces blends independently with other cosmic crystallizations for a corresponding actualization. But since they have entirely ceased to fulfill being-partkdolgduty, chiefly because of the abnormal conditions of being-existence gradually established by them themselves, none of these holy sources of everything existing is transubstantiated for their own presences, except the denying source alone.

"The crystallizations that arise in their presence from the first and third holy forces are utilized almost entirely by the common-cosmic trogoautoegocratic process, and only the crystallizations of the second part of the Omnipresent Okidanokh, the Holy Denying, serve for the coating of their own presence. Hence most of them remain with a presence consisting of the planetary body alone, and are thus, for themselves, destroyed forever.

"As regards the particularities proper only to the omnipresent, everywhere penetrating, active element Okidanokh, and the further results produced by them, you will have a clear picture of all this when I have explained to you in more or less detail, as I have already promised, the fundamental laws of world-creation and world-maintenance.

"In the meantime, I shall tell you about the elucidating experiments pertaining to this omnipresent cosmic crystallization at which I was present in person.

"However, it was not on the planet Earth that I was an eyewitness to these experiments, nor did your favorites conduct them. They were carried out on the planet Saturn by that three-brained being who, during almost the whole period of my exile in that solar system, was my real friend, about whom I recently promised to tell you in more detail."

CHAPTER 18: The arch-preposterous

BEELZEBUB continued:

"My first meeting with the three-centered being who later became my 'essence-friend,' and thanks to whom I saw these experiments with the 'Omnipresent Okidanokh,' took place in the following circumstances.

"You must know that at the beginning of my exile to that solar system, certain essence-friends of mine, who had not taken part in the events that caused my exile, carried out in relation to me personally the sacred process which exists in the Universe under the name of the sacred 'vznooshlitzval,' that is to say, they implanted in the presence of certain corresponding three-centered beings, by means of another sacred process called 'askalnooazar,' the impulse that Objective Science describes as 'trusting another as oneself.'

"Well then, soon after my arrival in the solar system Ors I began visiting its various planets. And when I first descended to the surface of the planet Saturn, it turned out that one of the beings who had undergone the sacred action of 'vznooshlitzval' in regard to my person was what is called there the 'harakhrakhrookhry' of all the three-centered beings arising and existing on that planet.

"On the planet Saturn 'harakhrakhrookhry' is the name given to the sole chief of all the other beings on that planet.

"Such being-chiefs also exist on every other planet where three-brained beings breed; on different planets they are differently named, and on the Earth such a chief is called a 'king.'

"The only difference is that while everywhere else, even on the other planets of the same system, there is only one 'king' for the whole planet, on your peculiar planet Earth, for each accidentally separated group of your favorites there is a separate 'king,' sometimes even several of them.

"Well . . .

"When I descended to the surface of the planet Saturn, and began to mingle with the three-centered beings there, it chanced that on the day after my arrival I had occasion to have a meeting with the harakhrakhrookhry himself In the course of our exchange of subjective opinions he invited me to stay in his own 'harkhookhry,' that is, his palace, for the whole of my sojourn on his planet.

"And this I did.

"So, my boy, once while we were talking, simply according to the flow of 'associative being-mentation,' we happened to touch upon the question of the strange results that arise from the manifestations of the particularities of the Omnipresent Okidanokh The venerable harakhrakhrookhry of the planet Saturn mentioned that one of his learned subjects by the name of Harharkh, in order to study certain previously unexplained properties of that cosmic substance, had recently devised an exceedingly interesting apparatus, the chief demonstrating part of which he called 'hrakhartzakha.'

"And he offered to make the necessary arrangements, if I wished, to have this new invention shown to me with full explanations.

"The result was that the following day, escorted by one of the venerable harakhrakhrookhry's attendants, I went to the place of existence of Gornahoor Harharkh, and there for the first time I witnessed those novel experiments elucidating the Omnipresent Okidanokh.

"Gornahoor Harharkh, who afterward, as I have already told you, became my essence-friend, was then considered one of the foremost scientists among the ordinary threebrained beings of the whole Universe All his discoveries were widely known, as were the apparatuses he had invented for his experiments, and on various other planets other learned beings were making more and more use of them.

"Here it will do no harm to remark that I owe it entirely to his knowledge that I was later able to install in my observatory on the planet Mars that 'teskooano' which enhanced the power of my sight and, as is said, increased the visibility of remote cosmic concentrations 7,000, 285 times.

"The truth is, it was thanks to this teskooano that my observatory was later regarded as one of the best installations of its kind in the whole Universe Most important of all, by means of this teskooano I was able, even while staying at home on Mars, to see and observe relatively easily the processes of existence taking place on those parts of the surface of other planets of that solar system which, in accordance with the 'common-cosmic harmonious movement,' could be perceived by 'being-sight' at the given moment.

"When Gornahoor Harharkh was told who we were and why we had come, he came to meet us and very amicably began his explanations.

"Before going into this, perhaps I should warn you once and for all that my conversations with three-centered beings dwelling on the various planets of that solar system where I was obliged to exist for the 'sins of my youth'— as for instance the conversation with Gornahoor Harharkh—were all held in languages still unknown to you, whose consonances were sometimes quite 'indigestible' by the normal being-functions meant for this purpose.

"And so, my boy, I shall not repeat these conversations word for word, but simply give you their meaning in our language, continuing of course to use those 'terms' and 'specific names'—or rather those combinations of sounds produced by the being-vocal cords of your favorites on the planet Earth—which, owing to their frequent repetition in my tales, have by now become familiar to you and easily understood.

"Ah yes . . . it should be added here that the word 'gornahoor' is used by the three-brained beings of the planet Saturn as a matter of courtesy, they put it in front of the name of the one they are addressing It is the same with your favorites on the planet Earth, who have invented the custom of putting the word 'mister,' or sometimes a whole meaningless phrase, in front of the name of the person they are speaking to—which expresses a notion that our honorable Mullah Nasr Eddin characterizes in the saying.

" 'Even so, there's more in it than in the wiseacrings of an expert in monkey-business.'

"Well, my boy . . .

"When he had been informed of what was required of him, this future essence-friend of mine, Gornahoor Harharkh, made a sign to us to approach that special appliance he had invented, which he called 'hrakhartzakha.'

"As we came nearer this very strange construction, he pointed to it with a particular feather of his right wing, and said:

" 'This special appliance is the chief part of my whole invention, and it is just in this part that the results of almost all the particularities of the omnipresent substance Okidanokh are found and manifested.'

"Then, pointing to all the other appliances in the 'khrkh,' or 'workshop,' he added:

'All these special appliances that I invented have enabled me to obtain certain extremely important clarifications about the omnipresent and everywhere-penetrating Okidanokh, because they made it possible for me first to collect all three fundamental parts of Okidanokh from every kind of surplanetary and intraplanetary process and then to blend them artificially into a whole; and finally to dissociate them, also artificially, and to study the specific properties of each part separately in its manifestations.'

"Having said this, he again pointed to the 'hrakhartzakha' and added that by means of this experimental apparatus any ordinary being could clearly understand in detail the properties of the three parts—entirely independent in themselves and in their manifestations—of the 'unique active element' whose particularities are the chief cause of everything existing in the Universe. Furthermore, any ordinary being could become categorically convinced that no results normally obtained from the processes through which this omnipresent world-substance passes can ever be perceived or sensed by beings. The only results of these processes that can be perceived by certain being-functions are those that for some reason or other occur abnormally on account of causes coming from without, either from conscious sources or from accidental mechanical results.

"The part of Gornahoor Harharkh's new invention called 'hrakhartzakha,' and considered the most important, looked very much like a 'tirzikiano' or, as your favorites would say, a huge 'electric light bulb.'

"The interior of this original structure was rather like a smallish room with a door that could be hermetically sealed.

"The walls were made of a certain transparent material, resembling what is called 'glass' on your planet.

"As I later learned, the chief particularity of this transparent material was that, although with the organ of sight a being could perceive every kind of cosmic concentration through it, it did not permit any rays, whatever their source, to penetrate it, either from within or from without.

"As I looked at this part of that astonishing being-invention, I could clearly distinguish through its transparent walls, in the center, what seemed to be a table and two chairs. Above the table hung three identical 'things' like terrestrial electric light bulbs and resembling 'momonodooars.' On the table and standing beside it were several different apparatuses and instruments altogether unknown to me.

"I afterward realized that all the objects contained in this 'hrakhartzakha,' as well as everything we were to put on later, were made of special materials invented by Gornahoor Harharkh As regards these materials, I will go into more detail at the proper time.

"Meanwhile bear in mind that in the enormous 'khrkh,' or workshop, of Gornahoor Harharkh, besides the 'hrakhartzakha' there were several other large independent apparatuses, and among them two quite special 'lifechakhans,' which Gornahoor Harharkh called 'khrikhirkhis.'

"It is interesting to note that your favorites also have something like this 'life-chakhan,' or 'khrikhirkhi,' which they call a 'dynamo.'

"At one side stood another enormous appliance which turned out to be a special kind of 'solookhnorakhoona,' or what your favorites would describe as a 'pump of complex construction for exhausting the atmosphere to the point of absolute vacuum.

"While I was looking at all this with amazement, Gornahoor Harharkh went over to this complex pump and with his left wing moved one of its parts, thus putting a certain mechanism in motion He then came back to us and, pointing with the same special feather of his right wing to the largest 'life-chakhan,' or 'khrikhirkhi,' that is, 'dynamo,' continued his explanations:

'This particular appliance first sucks in separately all the three independent parts of the omnipresent active element Okidanokh present in the atmosphere or in any intraplanetary or surplanetary formation, and only when these separate parts have been artificially reblended into a single whole in the "khrikhirkhi" does Okidanokh, now in its usual state, flow into that "container," where it is concentrated.' Here he pointed, still with the same feather, to something very much like a 'condenser.'

" 'From there,' he said, 'Okidanokh flows into another "khrikhirkhi," or "dynamo," where it undergoes the process of "djartklom"; and each of its separate parts is then concentrated in those other containers over there.' This time he pointed to what resembled 'accumulators.' 'Only then, by means of various artificial contrivances, do I take each active part of Okidanokh separately from these secondary containers for use in my experiments.

" 'I shall first demonstrate what happens when, for any reason, one of the active parts of the Omnipresent Okidanokh is absent during the process of their "striving to reblend into a whole."

'At the present moment, inside this apparatus, there is indeed an absolute vacuum, made possible only by the special construction of the suction pump and by the quality and strength of the material of which the walls of this part of my new invention are made. Experiments in this absolute vacuum are also possible because of the special quality of the materials of which the instruments are made.'

"Having said this, Gornahoor Harharkh pulled another lever and continued:

'When this lever is pulled, there begins to take place within this empty space the process whereby the separate parts of the Omnipresent Okidanokh "strive to reblend into a whole."

'But since an "able Reason"—my own, in this case— has by intention artificially excluded the third part of Okidanokh, known as "parijrahatnatius," the process is now taking place between only two of its independent parts, which science calls "anodnatius" and "cathodnatius." consequently, instead of the law-conformable results that would issue from the blending of the three parts, a non-law-conformable result is now being actualized ensuing from "the reciprocal blending of two opposite forces," and ordinary beings call this result "the cause of artificial light."

" 'The "striving to reblend into a whole" of two active parts of the Omnipresent Okidanokh now proceeding in this vacuum has a force, calculated by Objective Science, of 3,040,000 volts, and this force is indicated by the needle of that appliance over there. '

"He pointed to 'something' very much like the apparatus called a 'voltmeter' on your planet and said, 'One of the advantages of my new invention for the demonstration of this phenomenon is that in spite of the extraordinary power of the "force of striving" now proceeding there, the "salnichissinooarnian momentum-vibrations," which should issue from this process, and which most beings regard as "rays," do not issue from the place of their arising, that is, the interior of this apparatus, where the particularities of the Omnipresent Okidanokh are being studied.

" 'But in order that beings who are outside this part of my invention may evaluate the force of this process, I purposely made the wall in one place out of a material which allows the "salnichissinooarnian momentum-vibrations," or "rays," to pass through.'

"Having said this he went up to the 'hrakhartzakha' and pressed a certain button Suddenly the enormous khrkh, or workshop, was flooded with such an intense light that our organs of sight temporarily ceased to function, and only after a considerable time could we, with great difficulty, raise our eyelids and look around.

"As soon as we had recovered, Gornahoor Harharkh pulled another lever, which restored the surrounding space to its usual appearance. Then in his customary angel voice he again drew our attention to the needle of the voltmeter which steadily indicated the same figure, and went on:

'You see, although the process of conflict between the two opposing component parts of the Omnipresent Okidanokh still persists with the same "force of striving," and the part of the wall of this apparatus that can let the "rays" through is still open, the phenomenon that ordinary beings call "artificial light" has ceased.

" 'And it has ceased because by pulling that lever just now I introduced into the process of the clash between the two opposing parts a current of the third component part of Okidanokh, whereupon this third part at once began to blend proportionately with the other two. And the result of this blending of the three component parts of the Omnipresent Okidanokh, unlike the process of the non-law-conformable clash of its two parts, cannot be perceived by beings with any of their being-functions.'

"After this explanation, Gornahoor Harharkh proposed that I should venture with him inside the demonstrating part of his new invention, so that there within I might become an eyewitness of certain particular manifestations of the omnipresent and everywhere-penetrating active element.

"Without thinking long about it, I decided of course to do so; and I agreed at once because I expected to receive in my being an unchangeable and imperishable 'objective essence-satisfaction.'

"As soon as he had my consent, my future essence-friend gave the necessary orders to one of his assistants.

"It appeared that various preparations had to be made before his proposal could be earned out.

"First his assistants dressed Gornahoor Harharkh and myself in special, very heavy suits resembling what your favorites call 'diving suits' that had a large number of 'bolts.'

with small projecting heads. And when this most peculiar garb had been put on us, the assistants tightened up the 'bolts' in a certain order.

"On the inner side of these diving suits, at the end of the bolts, there were, it appeared, special plates which pressed against different parts of our planetary bodies.

"Later it became obvious to me that this was necessary to prevent our planetary bodies from undergoing what is called 'taranooranoora' or, in other words, from falling to pieces, as usually occurs to all intraplanetary and surplanetary formations when they happen to come into an entirely atmosphereless space.

"Besides these suits, the assistants placed on our heads something like 'diving helmets,' with complicated 'connectors' projecting from them.

"One of these connectors, called 'harinkhrarkh,' meaning 'sustainer of the pulsation,' was a sort of long rubber tube, one end of which was hermetically attached by means of complicated appliances to the place on the helmet corresponding to the breathing organs, while the other end, after we had entered this strange 'hrakhartzakha,' was screwed into an apparatus connected in its turn with the space whose presence corresponded with the 'second being-food.'

"Between Gornahoor Harharkh and myself there was also a 'special connector,' so that once inside the 'hrakhartzakha,' when the atmosphere had been pumped out to produce an absolute vacuum, we could easily communicate with each other.

"One end of this connector was fitted in a certain way, by means of appliances on the helmets, to my organs of 'hearing' and 'speech,' and the other end to those of Gornahoor Harharkh.

"Thus a sort of 'telephone,' as your favorites call it, was set up between my future essence-friend and myself.

"Without this appliance we could not have communicated with each other at all, chiefly because at that time the presence of Gornahoor Harharkh was perfected only up to the state called the sacred 'Inkotsarno'; and a being with such a presence cannot manifest himself nor even exist in an absolutely empty space, even if the products of all three being-foods were artificially introduced into him.

"But the most curious, cunning, and subtly ingenious of all the connectors attached for various purposes to these strange diving suits and helmets was the one invented by the great scientist Gornahoor Harharkh to enable the organ of 'sight' of ordinary beings to perceive surrounding objects in 'absolutely empty space.'

"One end of this astonishing connector was fitted to our temples by means of appliances on the helmets, while the other end was fastened to a so-called 'ams-commutator,' in its turn connected by wires to all the objects that had to be visible during the experiment, both those inside and outside the 'hrakhartzakha.'

"It is interesting to note here that at each end of this appliance—a creation almost incredible for the Reason of an ordinary three-centered being—were attached two further independent connectors, also of wire, through which special 'magnetic currents' flowed from outside.

"As it was afterward explained to me in detail, these connectors had been invented by that truly great scientist, Gornahoor Harharkh, so that by virtue of a certain property of these 'magnetic currents,' also discovered by him, the presence of learned three-centered beings—even those not perfected up to the sacred 'Inkotsarno'—might be 'reflected' in their essence, and thanks to another property of these currents, the presence of the objects mentioned above might also be 'reflected.' Thus it was possible for their imperfect organs of being-sight to perceive these objects, even in a vacuum containing none of the factors, or results, of the various cosmic concentrations which are animated by those vibrations that alone permit the functioning of any being-organ whatsoever.

"Having fitted us out in this very heavy equipment, which made it possible for beings to exist in this unnatural environment, the assistants of the great all-universal scientist Gornahoor Harharkh, again with the help of special appliances, carried us into the 'hrakhartzakha' itself. Then, having screwed all the free ends of the connectors projecting from us to the corresponding apparatuses in the 'hrakhartzakha,' they went out and hermetically sealed behind them the only way by which it would have been possible to have any communication with what is called 'all that represents a world.'

"When we were alone in the 'hrakhartzakha,' Gornahoor Harharkh shifted one of the 'switches' near him and said to me:

" 'Now the work of the pump has begun, and soon it will have pumped out of here all the results, without exception, of those cosmic processes whose totality is the basis and significance, and process itself of the maintenance of existence of "all that represents a world."

"And he added in a somewhat sarcastic tone: 'Soon we shall be absolutely isolated from everything that exists and functions in the whole Universe. Yet thanks to my new invention and to the knowledge we have already attained, we now have the possibility not only of returning to the world, to become once again particles of all that exists, but also of being worthy to be nonparticipating eyewitnesses of certain world laws, which by ordinary uninitiated three-centered beings are considered inscrutable mysteries of Nature, but which in reality are natural and simple results automatically flowing one from another.'

"While he was speaking one could feel that the 'pump'— this very important part of his new invention—was carrying out perfectly the work assigned to it by being-Reason.

"To help you represent to yourself and understand better the perfection of this part of Gornahoor Harharkh's invention, I must tell you also the following:

"Although for certain quite particular reasons I had had to be in atmosphereless space on several occasions and to exist there as a three-brained being, sometimes for a long time, by means of the sacred 'kreemboolatsoomara' alone; and although my presence had acquired from frequent repetition the habit of moving gradually from one sphere to another, almost without feeling any inconvenience from the change in the 'second being-food' inevitably brought about by the transformation of the substances always present around both large and small cosmic concentrations; and although the very causes of my arising and the subsequent process of my being-existence had been arranged in an entirely special way, so that gradually the various being-functions within my common presence had perforce also become quite special, nevertheless, in spite of all I have just said, the pumping out of the atmosphere then proceeded with such force, and the sensations impressed on the separate parts of my entire presence were so strong, that even today I can very clearly relive the whole course of my experience at that moment and describe it for you in detail.

"This extremely strange state began in me shortly after the pump started working and Gornahoor Harharkh had spoken in that half-sarcastic tone about our imminent situation.

"In my three 'being-centers,' that is, those centers localized in the presence of every three-centered being under the names of the 'thinking,' 'feeling,' and 'moving' centers, there began to be perceived in each one of them separately, in a strange and unusual way, the definite impression that each of the separate parts of my whole planetary body was undergoing an independent process of sacred 'rascooarno,' and that the cosmic crystallizations composing the presence of each of these parts were flowing 'in vain.'

"At first my 'initiative of constatation' proceeded in the usual way according to what is called the 'center of gravity of associative experiencing.' But later, when this initiative of constatation gradually and almost imperceptibly became the function of my essence alone, this essence became the unique all-embracing initiator of constatation, not only of everything taking place within me but also of everything without exception newly happening outside me.

"From that moment my essence began to perceive impressions directly, and to constate that from what was taking place in my common presence the parts of my planetary body were, so to speak, being entirely destroyed, and then little by little the localizations of the second and third being-centers as well. At the same time my essence perceived that the functioning of these two centers passed gradually to my thinking center, and became proper to it, with the result that the thinking center, with this increased intensity of functioning, became the 'unique and powerful perceiver' of everything actualized outside itself as well as the autonomous initiator of constatation of everything proceeding within the whole of my presence.

"While I was in the throes of this strange 'being-experiencing, ' still incomprehensible to my Reason, Gornahoor Harharkh was busy pulling some of the many levers and switches attached to the edges of the table at which we were placed.

"And then something happened to Gornahoor Harharkh that suddenly changed all this strange being-experiencing of mine, and in my common presence the usual being-experiencing was resumed. This is what occurred: Gornahoor Harharkh, with all the heavy equipment he was wearing, suddenly found himself high above his chair and began to flounder, as our dear Mullah Nasr Eddin would say, 'like a puppy fallen into a deep pond.'

"As we afterward learned, my friend Gornahoor Harharkh had made a mistake while pulling the levers and switches, and had tensed certain parts of his planetary body more than was necessary, and in consequence his presence, together with everything he was wearing, had received a shock. Owing to the 'tempo' given to his presence from the taking in of the 'second being-food' and to the absence of any resistance in that absolutely empty space, he began to drift or, as I have just said, 'to flounder like a puppy in a pond.'

Having said this with a smile, Beelzebub became silent; after a short pause he made a very strange gesture with his left hand, and in a tone of voice not natural to him, continued:

"While I am recalling these events of a period so long ago in my existence, the wish arises to make a sincere confession to you—just to you, one of my direct heirs, who will inevitably represent the sum of all my deeds in the course of my being-existence. That is to say, I wish to confess to you in all sincerity that although my essence, with the consent of the parts of my presence subject to it alone, had decided to participate in the scientific experiment about to take place within Gornahoor Harharkh's new invention, and although I had entered its chief demonstrating part without the least compulsion from outside, yet this same essence of mine had allowed to creep into my being and to develop there, side by side with the strange sensations I have described to you, a criminally egoistic anxiety for the safety of my personal existence.

"However, my boy, so that you may not be too distressed by this confession, it is not superfluous to add that this was the first time this ever happened to me, and also the last, throughout my entire being-existence.

"But perhaps it would be better for the present not to touch on questions that concern only our family.

"Let us rather return to my tale about the Omnipresent Okidanokh and my essence-friend Gornahoor Harharkh who, by the way, was once recognized by ordinary three-brained beings everywhere as a 'great scientist,' but is today no longer considered 'great'; indeed, thanks to the fame of his own result, that is to say, his son, he is now a 'has-been' or, as our dear Mullah Nasr Eddin sometimes says in such cases, 'He is up to his neck in an old American galosh.'

"Well then, while Gornahoor Harharkh was floundering about, he finally managed, with great difficulty and only by means of a very complicated maneuver, to get his planetary body, burdened as it was with its heavy and unusual equipment, down onto the chair again, and this time he fastened it all with screws that were on the chair for that purpose. When we were both more or less settled again and could communicate by means of the artificial connector I mentioned, he drew my attention to the three apparatuses hanging over the table which, as I told you, looked like 'momonodooars.'

"On close inspection all three of these proved to be exactly alike in appearance, each being a sort of 'socket' out of which projected 'carbon poles' like those found in what your favorites call 'arc lights.'

"Having drawn my attention to these three objects resembling 'momonodooars,' he said:

'Each of these outwardly similar apparatuses has a direct connection with the secondary containers I showed you while we were still outside the "hrakhartzakha," and in which all three active parts of Okidanokh, after the occurrence of the artificial "djartklom," reblend into a single mass.

" 'I have constructed these three independent apparatuses in such a way that in this absolutely empty space we can obtain from those secondary containers as much of each of the active parts of Okidanokh, in a pure state, as we need for our experiment; and we can also change at will the force of the "striving to reblend into a whole" that is acquired by them and becomes proper to them, according to the density of concentration of their mass.

" 'And now, within this absolutely empty space, I shall show you first of all the same nonlawful phenomenon we observed a little while ago from outside. In other words, I shall again demonstrate to you the cosmic phenomenon that occurs when, after a lawful "djartklom," the separate parts of Okidanokh meet in a space devoid of any cosmic concentration and, without the participation of one of the parts, strive to reblend into a whole.'

"Having said this, he closed the section of the wall of the 'hrakhartzakha' that had the property of allowing 'rays' to pass through, and then pulled two switches and pressed a certain button, with the result that a small plate of special mastic lying on the table automatically moved toward the 'carbon poles.' Then, having again drawn my attention to the ammeter and the voltmeter, he added:

'I have just now admitted the current of the two parts of Okidanokh called "anodnatius" and "cathodnatius," giving them the same force of striving to reblend.'

"When I looked at the ammeter and the voltmeter, and saw that their needles had indeed moved and then stopped on the same figures I had noted the first time while we were outside the 'hrakhartzakha,' I was greatly surprised, for in spite of the indications of the needles and Gornahoor Harharkh's warning, I had neither noticed nor sensed any change in the degree of visibility of the objects around us.

"So without waiting for any further explanation, I asked:

"'But why then is there no result from this nonlawful "striving to reblend into a whole" of the parts of Okidanokh?'

"Before answering my question, he turned off the only lamp, which drew its power from a special magnetic current. My astonishment increased even more, for in spite of the sudden darkness I could clearly see through the walls of the 'hrak-hartzakha' that the needles of the ammeter and voltmeter had stayed in the same positions.

"Only after I had somehow or other adapted myself to this surprising observation did Gornahoor Harharkh say:

" 'I have already told you that the material used for the walls of the construction we are in right now has the property of not allowing any vibrations from any source whatsoever to pass through it, with the exception of certain vibrations arising from nearby concentrations; and these vibrations can be perceived by the organs of sight of three-brained beings—provided, of course, that these beings are normal.

'Furthermore, according to the law called "Heterato-getar," the "salnichissinooarnian momentum-vibrations," or "rays," acquire the property of acting on the organs of perception of beings only after having passed the limit defined by science in the following terms: "the result of the manifestation is in exact proportion to the force of striving received from the shock."

'And so, since the process of the conflict of these two parts of Okidanokh has a force of great intensity, the result is manifested at some distance from the place of its origin.

'Now look!'

"He pressed another button, and suddenly the whole interior of the 'hrakhartzakha' was filled with the same blinding light that I had experienced before, when I was standing outside this apparatus.

"This flood of light had apparently been released when Gornahoor Harharkh, by pressing the button, had again opened the section of the wall of the 'hrakhartzakha' that permitted 'rays' to pass through.

"He explained further that the light was a consequence of the 'striving to reblend into a whole' of the parts of Okidanokh, which was proceeding in the absolutely empty space inside the 'hrakhartzakha'; and it was manifested there owing to what is called 'reflection from outside,' that is to say, to the return of the rays to the place of their origin.

"He then continued: 'I am now going to demonstrate how and by what combinations of the processes of "djartklom" and the "striving to reblend into a whole" of the active parts of Okidanokh there arise in planets from the "minerals" composing their interior presence certain definite formations of varying densities, such as "mineraloids," "gases," "metalloids," "metals," and so on. And I will show you how these latter, owing to the same factors, are afterward progressively transformed one into another; and how the vibrations flowing from these transformations constitute the "totality of vibrations" that makes possible the "stability' of planets in the process called the "common-system harmonious movement."

" 'For my proposed demonstration, I must as always obtain the necessary materials from outside, and my pupils will provide them by means of appliances I have prepared in advance.'

"It is interesting to remark that while Gornahoor Harharkh was speaking, he was tapping with his left foot on 'something' very much like the transmission apparatus of the celebrated Morse— celebrated, be it said, only on the planet Earth.

"A few moments later, from the lower part of the 'hrakhartzakha' there slowly rose a small object something like a box with transparent walls, containing, as it afterward proved, certain 'minerals,' 'metalloids,' 'metals,' and various 'gases' in liquid and solid states.

"Then with the help of various appliances arranged at one side of the table and by means of complicated manipulations, he took out of the box a piece of what is called 'red copper,' put it on the mastic plate before him, and said:

" 'This metal is a definite planetary crystallization, representing one of the densities required for the said "stability" in the process of the "common harmonious movement of all systems." It is a formation resulting from previous processes of the reciprocal action of the parts of the Omnipresent Okidanokh. Now I will allow the transformation of this metal to proceed artificially at an accelerated pace, by means of the particularities of the same factors.

"'I intend to aid artificially the evolution and involution of its elements, either toward a greater density or, on the contrary, back toward their primal state.

" 'So that you may have a clearer picture of the whole experiment you are about to witness, I shall have to give you at least a brief account of my own first scientific deductions as to the causes and conditions that bring about the crystallization, within planets, of the three separate parts of Okidanokh in one or another of the definite formations I referred to.

" 'To begin with, from every non-law-conformable "djartklom" the separate parts of the Omnipresent Okidanokh become localized in the medium of that part of the presence of the planet where the "djartklom" has taken place, that is to say, in whatever corresponding mineral is there at that moment.

'Now if the density of the elements of that medium has an "affinity of vibrations" with one of the active parts of the Omnipresent Okidanokh, then, according to the world law called "symmetrical interpenetration," this active part blends with the presence of the medium, to become an inseparable part of it. And from that moment, the separate parts of Okidanokh, combined with the elements of the given medium, begin to represent the corresponding densities required in planets, that is to say, various kinds of "metalloids" or even "metals," as for instance the metal existing under the name of "red copper," which I have just placed in this medium and where, at my wish, the "striving to reblend into a whole" of the parts of Okidanokh will now proceed artificially.

'Further, having thus arisen within the planets, these various "metalloids" and "metals" begin—as is proper to all arisings in which Okidanokh or any one of its active parts participate—to radiate from their presence the results of their "inner interchange of substances" according to the universal law called the "reciprocal feeding of everything existing." And, as is proper to all radiations issuing from surplanetary and intraplanetary formations, the radiations of these "metalloids" and "metals" acquire a property almost like that of Okidanokh or of any one of its active parts, present in what is called the "center of gravity" of all such formations.

'When these masses of different densities, which have thus arisen in planets under normal surrounding conditions, radiate the vibrations required for this universal law of the "reciprocal feeding of everything existing," then, among these vibrations having various properties, there is established, according to the fundamental world law of "Troemedekhfe," a reciprocally acting contact.

"'And it is the result of this contact which is the chief factor in the gradual change of the various densities in planets.

"'My observations over many years have almost fully convinced me that it is only this contact and its results that assure the "stability of the harmonious equilibrium" of planets.

"'The metal, red copper, which I have just placed in this sphere where I propose to set in motion in an artificial way the active parts of Okidanokh, has at this moment a specific density of 444, reckoning from the unit of density of the sacred element Theomertmalogos; that is to say, an atom of this metal is 444 times denser and as many times less vivifying than an atom of the sacred Theomertmalogos.

"'Now watch and see in what order the artificially accelerated transformations will take place.'

"Having said this, he put in front of my organ of sight an automatically controlled teskooano, then began to turn several switches on and off in a certain sequence; and as I looked through the teskooano, he gave me the following explanation:

"'I am now allowing all three parts of Okidanokh to flow into the sphere of presence containing this metal; and since all three parts have the same "density," and hence the same "force of striving," they reblend into a whole without changing anything in the presence of the metal. And the Omnipresent Okidanokh thus obtained flows in its usual state through a special conduit out of the "hrakhartzakha," and is reconcentrated in the first container, which you have already seen. " 'Now look!

'I am deliberately increasing the "force of striving" of just one of the active parts of Okidanokh. In this case I am increasing the force called "cathodnatius," and you will see that the elements composing the presence of the "red copper" begin to involve toward the quality of the substances that compose the ordinary presence of planets.'

"While explaining this he was turning various switches on and off in a certain sequence.

"Well, my boy, although I watched everything that went on very attentively and everything I saw was impressed in my essence 'pestolnootiarly,' that is, forever, I could not now, however much I might wish to do so, put into words a hundredth part of what then took place in that small fragment of an intraplanetary formation. Nor shall I even try to do so, for I have just thought of a way of actually showing it all to you so that you too can soon be an eyewitness of that astonishing cosmic process.

"Meanwhile, I will only tell you that there proceeded in that fragment of 'red copper' something rather like those frightful scenes among your favorites on the Earth that I occasionally observed through my teskooano from the planet Mars.

"I say 'rather like' because what I sometimes observed among your favorites was only at its beginning, whereas in that fragment of 'red copper' I was able to observe the whole process right up to its final transformation.

"A rough parallel can be drawn between what occasionally happens on your planet and what took place then in the small fragment of copper, if you imagine yourself high up, looking down upon a large public square where thousands of your favorites, seized with the most acute form of their chief psychosis, are destroying one another's existence by every means they have invented, and then suddenly in their place you see their 'corpses,' as they call them, which change color perceptibly owing to the outrages done them by the beings not yet destroyed, and this gradually alters the general appearance of the surface of that large square.

"Now, my boy, by switching on and off the flow of the three active parts of Okidanokh, thus changing their 'force of striving,' this future essence-friend of mine, Gornahoor Harharkh, also changed the density of the elements of the 'red copper,' and thereby transformed this metal into all kinds of other intraplanetary metals of lower or higher degree of vivifyingness.

"And here, to throw more light upon the strangeness of the psyche of the three-brained beings who have taken your fancy, it is interesting and important to note that while Gornahoor Harharkh, by means of his new invention, was artificially producing the evolution and involution in density and vivifyingness of the elements of 'red copper,' I noticed distinctly that this metal was transformed at one point into that very metal about which many sorry scientists of your planet have been wiseacring for nearly the whole of their existence, in the hope of transforming other metals into it —thus leading astray their already sufficiently erring brethren. On Earth this metal is called 'gold.'

" 'Gold' is no other than the metal we call 'prtzathalavr,' whose specific gravity, reckoning as always from the sacred Theomertmalogos, is 1, 439; that is to say, an atom of 'gold' is three and a fraction times less vivifying than an atom of 'red copper.'

"The reason I decided not to try to explain in words everything that took place in that fragment of 'red copper' was because I suddenly remembered the allgracious promise given me by our All-Quarters Maintainer, the Most Great Arch-Cherub Peshtvogner, which will make it possible for you to see with your own eyes, in definite intraplanetary formations, the processes of the manifestations of the active parts of Okidanokh.

"And this all-gracious promise was given me just after my return from exile, when my first duty was to present myself to our All- Quarters Maintainer, the Arch-Cherub Peshtvogner and, prostrating myself at his feet, to perform before him what is called the 'essence-sacred aliamizoornakalu.'

"I was obliged to do this on account of the sins of my youth. For when I was pardoned by His Uni-Being Endlessness and allowed to return to my native land, certain Sacred Individuals decided to demand of me that this sacred process be performed over my essence, both as a precaution against my ever again manifesting myself as in the days of my youth, and so that nothing similar would recur in the Reason of most of the Individuals dwelling at the Center of the Great Universe.

"You probably do not yet know what the sacred 'aliamizoornakalu' over an essence means. Later I will explain that to you in detail, but meanwhile, I shall simply turn once more to our dear Mullah Nasr Eddin, who describes this process as 'giving one's word of honor not to poke one's nose into the affairs of the authorities.'

"In short, when I presented myself to our All-Quarters Maintainer he deigned to ask me, among other things, whether I had brought back with me all the being-inventions that had interested me and that I had collected from various planets of that solar system where I had existed during my exile. I replied that I had brought back almost everything except those cumbersome apparatuses that my friend Gornahoor Harharkh had constructed for me on the planet Mars.

"He at once promised to give orders that everything I indicated should be put on board the space ship Omnipresent on its next trip.

"So I hope, my boy, that everything necessary will have been brought to our planet Karatas and that when we return there, you will be able to see the experiments with your own eyes and I shall be able to explain everything in detail. "In the meantime, during this journey of ours on the ship Karnak, I will tell you, in their order, as I have already promised, about my descents to your planet and the reasons for my appearances there in person."

CHAPTER 19: Beelzebub's tale about his second descent to the planet Earth

BEELZEBUB began thus: "I descended to your planet Earth for the second time only eleven of their centuries after my first descent.

"Shortly after my first descent a second catastrophe had occurred to that planet, but this one was local in character and did not threaten disaster on a great cosmic scale.

"During this second catastrophe, the continent of Atlantis, which at the time of my first descent had been the largest continent and the chief place of existence of the terrestrial three-brained beings, was engulfed within the planet along with other large and small land masses, as were most of the three-brained beings existing upon them, together with almost everything they had achieved and acquired in the course of centuries.

"In their place there emerged from within the planet other land masses forming new continents and islands, most of which still exist.

"It was on this very continent of Atlantis that the city of Samlios was situated where, do you remember, that young countryman of ours had existed who was the cause of my first descent in person.

"During this second great disaster to that planet, thanks to diverse circumstances, many of the three-brained beings who have taken your fancy nevertheless survived, and by the time of my second descent in person their posterity had already multiplied so much that they were now breeding on almost all the newly formed land masses.

"And in regard to the causes, conforming to law, which brought about their excessive multiplication, this also you will understand in the course of my further tales.

"Here, my boy, it will do no harm for you to take note that the beings of our tribe existing on that planet at the time of this catastrophe all escaped that 'apocalyptic end.'

"They escaped it for the following reasons:

"As I have already told you in one of our previous talks, at the time of my first descent most of the beings of our tribe who had chosen this planet of yours as their dwelling place existed on the continent of Atlantis.

"It appears that a year before this catastrophe our 'tribal pythoness' made a prophecy in which she called upon all our tribe to leave the continent of Atlantis and migrate to a smaller continent not far away, where they were to exist on a definite part of its surface that she indicated.

"This smaller continent was then called 'Grabontzi' and the part the 'pythoness' indicated did indeed escape the terrifying perturbation that occurred to all the other parts of the common presence of that ill-fated planet. "As a consequence of this perturbation the continent of Grabontzi, existing today under the name of 'Africa,' became much larger, as other land masses emerged from the water spaces of the planet and were added to it.

"So, my boy, our 'pythoness' was able to warn those members of our tribe who had been obliged to exist on your planet and thereby save them from an otherwise inevitable 'apocalyptic end'; and she was able to do this thanks to a special being-property which, by the way, can be acquired by beings only intentionally by means of what is called 'being-partkdolgduty,' about which I will tell you later.

"This time the reasons for my descent to the surface of that I planet were related to the following events:

"One day, on the planet Mars, we received an etherogram from the Center announcing the imminent appearance of certain Most High Sacred Individuals. And in fact, within half a Martian year, a number of archangels, angels, cherubim, and seraphim did appear there, the majority of whom had been members of the Most High Commission that had come to Mars at the time of the first great catastrophe to the planet Earth.

"Among these Most High Sacred Individuals was again His Conformity, the Angel—now already Archangel— Looisos who, during the first great catastrophe to the planet Earth, as you remember I recently told you, had been one of the chief administrators in charge of averting the possible consequences of that general cosmic misfortune.

"So, my boy, the day after the second appearance of those Sacred Individuals, His Conformity, accompanied by one of the seraphim, his second assistant, did me the honor to come to my house.

"After giving me his blessing, His Conformity condescended to reply to certain inquiries of mine about the Great Center, and then told me that after the collision of the comet Kondoor with the planet Earth, he and other responsible cosmic Individuals administering the affairs of 'harmonious world-existence' had frequently descended to this solar system to observe the effect of the measures they had taken to ward off the consequences of that cosmic miscalculation.

'And we descended,' His Conformity continued, 'because, although we had taken every possible precaution and had assured everyone that everything would be quite all right, we ourselves were not totally convinced that some unforeseen unpleasantness might not await us in the future.

" 'Moreover it turned out that our apprehensions were partly justified though, thanks to chance, not in a serious form, that is to say, not on a general cosmic scale, since this new catastrophe affected only the planet Earth.

" 'The second catastrophe to the planet Earth,' continued His Conformity, 'was due to the following circumstances:

" 'When, during the first disaster, two large fragments were detached from this planet, the "center of gravity" of its entire presence had no time to shift to a corresponding new position. As a result, right up to the time of the second catastrophe, this planet existed with its "center of gravity" out of place, thanks to which ifs movement during that whole period was not uniformly harmonious and there often occurred, both within and upon it, various upheavals and displacements And it was just when the "center of gravity" finally shifted to the true center of the planet that the second catastrophe occurred.

" 'But from now on,' added His Conformity with a shade of self-satisfaction, 'the existence of this planet will be quite normal from the point of view of common-cosmic harmony. This second cataclysm has finally put our minds completely at rest, and has convinced us that a catastrophe on a cosmic scale can never again occur on account of the planet Earth.

'Not only has this planet once more acquired a normal movement in the general cosmic equilibrium, but its two detached fragments, now called "Moon" and "Anulios," have also acquired a normal movement and have become independent, though small, "kofenshars," that is, additional planets, of the solar system Ors.

Having thought a moment, His Conformity went on to say:

'I have appeared to you, Your Reverence, just in order to talk over with you the future welfare of the large fragment of that planet existing today under the name of "Moon."

"'Not only,' His Conformity continued, 'has this fragment become an independent planet, but there is already proceeding on it the formation of an atmosphere, as is necessary for every planet serving the actualization of the Most Great Common-Cosmic Trogoautoegocrat. But now, Your Reverence, on that small, unexpectedly arisen planet, this regular process of the formation of an atmosphere is being hindered by an undesirable circumstance due to the three-brained beings existing on the planet Earth.

" 'And this is why I decided to appeal to you, Your Reverence, to consent to undertake, in the name of our Uni-Being Creator, a task that would spare us the necessity of resorting to some extreme sacred process, unbecoming for any three-centered beings, and would, in some simpler way, remove this undesirable phenomenon by making use of the being-Reason they have in their presence.'

"His Conformity then explained to me in detail that after the second catastrophe to the Earth, the biped three-brained beings who had accidentally survived had again multiplied, and that the whole process of their existence was now concentrated on a large, newly formed continent called 'Ashhark,' where three large independent groups had been established, the first in a region then called 'Tikliamish,' the second in a region known as 'Maralpleicie,' and the third in a country which still exists and was then called 'Pearl-land.'

'In the psyche of the beings belonging to all three of these independent groups,' His Conformity went on to say, 'various peculiar "havatviernonis" have been formed, that is, certain psychic strivings, the total process of which they themselves call "religion."

" 'Although these havatviernonis, or religions, have nothing in common, there is widely spread among all three groups a religious custom called "sacrificial offerings." This custom of theirs is based on the notion, which only their strange Reason could conceive of, that if they destroyed the existence of beings of other forms in honor of their "gods' and "idols," these imaginary gods and idols would find it very, very agreeable, and would help them without fail, always and in everything, to carry out their wild and fantastic enterprises.

"'This custom is now so widespread there and the destruction of the existence of beings of various forms has reached such proportions, that there is already a surplus of the sacred "askokin" required from the planet Earth for the maintenance of its former parts, a surplus, that is, of those vibrations that arise during the process of "rascooarno" of beings of every exterior form on that planet from which this sacred cosmic substance is required.

"'This surplus of the sacred "askokin" is already seriously hindering the correct exchange of substances between the Moon and its atmosphere, with the danger that the atmosphere may in consequence be formed abnormally, and later become an obstacle to the harmonious movement of the whole system Ors, and perhaps again give rise to yet another catastrophe on a great cosmic scale.

"'So, Your Reverence, my request consists in this, that since you are in the habit of often visiting various planets of this solar system, you should undertake the task of descending specially to the planet Earth and of trying to instill into the consciousness of these strange three-brained beings some idea of the senselessness of this notion of theirs.'

"After a few more words, His Conformity began to ascend, and when he was fairly high up, he added in a loud voice: 'Thereby, Your Reverence, you will be rendering a great service to our Uni-Being All-Embracing Endlessness.'

"When these Sacred Individuals had left the planet Mars, I resolved to carry out this task at all costs and to be worthy, If only by this specific aid to our Unique Burden-Bearing Endlessness, of becoming a particle, though an independent one, of everything existing in the Great Universe. So, my boy, imbued with this resolve, the next day I flew on the same ship Occasion to your planet Earth.

"This time our ship alighted on a sea then called the 'Colhidius,' recently formed by perturbations during the second great disaster to your planet. This sea was situated in the northwestern part of the great, newly arisen continent of Ashhark, which at that period was the chief center of existence of the three-brained beings there.

"The other shores of this sea belonged to those newly emerged land masses that had become joined to the continent of Ashhark, and taken together were at first known as 'Frianktzanaralis' and a little later as 'Colhidchissi.' It must be remarked that both this sea and the lands just mentioned still exist, but of course they now have other names. For example, the continent of Ashhark is now called 'Asia'; the Colhidius Sea, the 'Caspian'; and all the Frianktzanaralis together are now known as the 'Caucasus.'

"The Occasion alighted on the Colhidius, or Caspian, Sea because it was the most convenient place for mooring our ship; moreover, it offered great advantages for my further travels, since a large river, which watered almost the entire country of Tikliamish, flowed into it from the east. On the banks of this river stood the capital, the city of 'Koorkalai.'

"As the greatest center of existence of these favorites of yours was then the country of 'Tikliamish,' I decided to go there first.

"Here it might as well be added that although this large river, then called the 'Oxoseria,' still exists today, it no longer flows into the Caspian Sea because, as a result of a minor planetary tremor, it was diverted to the north about halfway down its course and flowed into one of the hollows on the surface of the continent of Ashhark, where it gradually formed a small sea still known as the 'Aral Sea.' By close observation the old bed of that great river now called the " 'Amu Darya' can be seen even at the present day.

"At the time of this second descent of mine in person, the country of Tikliamish had come to be considered, as indeed it was, the richest and most fertile of all the lands suitable for ordinary being-existence on that planet.

"But when a third great catastrophe occurred to that ill-fated planet, this flourishing country, along with other more or less fertile regions, was covered by 'kashmanoonoms,' or as they say, by 'sands.' After this third catastrophe the country of Tikliamish was long known as the 'Hungry Desert'; but nowadays the different parts have different names, and what was once its principal part is called 'Karakum,' which means 'black sands.'

"During that period the second quite independent group of three-brained beings on the continent of Ashhark dwelt in the country then called 'Maralpleicie.' Later, when this second group established a central place of existence, they called it the city of 'Gob,' and for a long time the whole country was called 'Goblandia.'

"This region in its turn was covered by 'kashmanoonoms,' and today the chief part of this once flourishing country is known simply as the 'Gobi Desert.'

"As for the third entirely independent group, the place of its existence was in the southeastern part of the continent of Ashhark, opposite Tikliamish, and on the other side of those abnormal projections of the continent that had been formed during the second catastrophe to this ill-fated planet.

"As I have already told you, the place of existence of this third group was then called Pearl-land.

"The name of this region also was changed many times, and at present the whole of that part of the land surface of your planet is known as 'Hindustan' or 'India.'

"It must be noted here without fail that at the time of my second descent in person to the surface of your planet, there Was present in all the three-brained beings of these three independent groups, instead of the impulse called 'needful.'

striving for self-perfection,' which should be in every three-brained being, an also needful but very strange striving already thoroughly crystallized, to have all the other beings of their planet consider their country the 'center of culture' of the whole Earth.

"This very strange needful striving had become for each of the three-centered beings of your planet the principal meaning and aim of existence and, in consequence, bitter struggles, both material and psychic, were constantly proceeding among the beings of the three independent groups for the attainment of this aim.

"So, my boy . . .

"From the Colhidius Sea, now the Caspian, we then set off on 'selchanakhs,' that is, on rafts of a special kind, up the river Oxoseria or, as it is now called, the 'Amu Darya.' We sailed for fifteen terrestrial days and finally arrived at the capital of the beings of the first Asiatic group.

"As soon as we were settled in the city of Koorkalai I began visiting the 'kaltaani' there, that is, those establishments which were later called on the continent of Ashhark 'chaikhanas,' 'ashkhanas,' 'caravanserais,' and so on, and which contemporary beings on that planet, especially those breeding on the continent of 'Europe,' call 'cafés,' 'restaurants,' 'clubs,' 'dance halls,' 'meeting places,' and so on.

"I began with these establishments because on the planet Earth, in those days just as now, there was no place where one could observe and study so well the specific peculiarities of the psyche of the beings of a country. And this was exactly what I needed in order to make clear to myself their real, inner essence-attitude toward the custom of sacrificial offerings, and to enable me more readily to draw up a plan of action to achieve the aim for which I had made this second descent to your planet.

"During my visits to those kaltaani I met a number of beings, among whom was one I happened to see rather often. This three-brained being whom I frequently met was by profession a 'priest'; his name was Abdil.

"Since most of my personal activities during this second descent were concerned with the external circumstances in which this priest Abdil had become involved, and since I had to go to a great deal of trouble on his account, I shall tell you about him more or less in detail. Moreover, from these tales you will be able to understand the results I obtained in pursuit of my aim of uprooting from the strange psyche of your favorites their need to destroy the existence of beings of other forms in order to 'please and appease' their gods and revered idols.

"Although this terrestrial being, who afterward became as dear to me as one of my own kin, was not a priest of the highest rank, he was well versed in the teaching of the religion then dominant in Tikliamish, and also knew well the psyche of the followers of that religion, particularly of course of the members of what is called his 'flock.'

"As soon as we were on friendly terms, I discovered that in the being of the priest Abdil, owing to many external circumstances, among others his heredity and the conditions in which he had been prepared to become a responsible being, the function called 'conscience,' which should be present in every three-centered being, was not yet altogether atrophied. So, when he recognized with his Reason certain cosmic truths I explained to him, he at once acquired in his presence almost that attitude toward other beings that is proper to all normal three-brained beings of the whole universe; in other words he became 'compassionate' and 'sensitive' to the beings around him.

"Before I tell you more about this priest Abdil, you must know that on the continent of Ashhark the terrible custom of sacrificial offerings was then at its height, and that the destruction of various weak 'one-brained' and 'two-brained' beings was proceeding everywhere in incalculable numbers.

"At that period, whenever the members of a household appealed to some imaginary 'god' or make-believe 'saint,' they invariably vowed that in return for good fortune they would destroy, in honor of that god or saint, the existence of some being, or even of several at once. And if by chance good fortune befell them, they would fulfill their vow with the utmost piety; while if it turned out otherwise, they would increase the slaughter, in the hope of eventually winning the favor of their imaginary patron.

"For this purpose these favorites of yours went so far as to divide the beings of all other forms into 'clean' and 'unclean.' They called 'unclean' those beings the destruction of whose existence was supposedly displeasing to their gods, and 'clean' those beings whose destruction was supposedly most agreeable to the various fantastic idols they revered.

"These sacrifices were offered not only privately by individual beings in their own houses, but also by large groups and sometimes by the whole populace. They even had special places for slaughterings of this kind, preferably near buildings erected in memory of something or somebody, usually of some 'saint'—a 'saint,' of course, whom they themselves had elevated to sainthood.

"There were several of these public places at that time in the country of Tikliamish, where the mass destruction of beings of different exterior forms was carried out, and the most celebrated of these was on top of a small mountain, where once upon a time a certain wonder-worker, Aliman, was supposed to have been 'taken up alive' to some heaven or other.

"In this place, as in others like it, especially at set times of the year, they destroyed vast numbers of beings called 'oxen,' 'sheep,' 'doves,' and so on— and sometimes even beings like themselves. In the last case, the strong usually brought the less strong to be sacrificed: a father, for instance, brought his son; a husband his wife; an elder brother his younger brother, and so on. But for the most part the victims were 'slaves,' who were usually what are called 'captives,' in other words, beings of a conquered community which had lost its importance through the action of the law of 'Solioonensius'; that is, in a period when the tendency to reciprocal destruction was intensified in the presence of your favorites.

"This custom of 'pleasing their gods' by destroying the existence of other beings is still followed on your planet, though not on the same scale as when these abominations were perpetrated on the continent of Ashhark.

"Well, my boy, during the early days of my stay in the town of Koorkalai I often talked with my friend the priest Abdil on various subjects, taking care of course to avoid questions that might have betrayed my real nature.

"Like almost all the three-brained beings I met on each of my descents, he took me for a being of his own planet, but considered me very learned and an authority on the psyche of his fellow beings.

"From our earliest meetings, the sensitivity and concern with which he spoke about beings like himself always touched me deeply. And when my Reason had clearly recognized that the function of 'conscience,' transmitted to him by heredity and fundamental for all three-centered beings, had not yet quite atrophied in him, there arose, and eventually became crystallized in my presence, a 'really functioning needful striving' toward him, as though he were a kinsman of my own nature.

From that moment, according to the cosmic law that 'every cause gives birth to a corresponding result,' the priest Abdil began to experience 'silnegordpana' toward me, or as your favorites would say, a feeling of 'trusting another as oneself.'

"So, my boy, no sooner was all this clearly evident to my Reason than the idea occurred to me to avail myself of this first terrestrial friend of mine to accomplish the task for the sake of which my second descent had been made. And I then began intentionally leading all our conversations toward the question of sacrificial offerings.

"Although many years have passed since I talked with that terrestrial friend of mine, I can still remember one of our conversations and repeat it to you word for word. I wish to repeat that particular talk, which was the last I had with him, because it served as the starting point of all the events which, though they brought the planetary existence of my terrestrial friend to a painful end, nevertheless opened to him the possibility of continuing the task of self-perfecting.

"This last talk took place in his house.

"I explained to him frankly the utter stupidity and absurdity of the custom of sacrificial offerings.

"What I said was this: 'Good. You have a religion, a faith in something. It is very good to have faith in something, whatever it may be, even if you don't know exactly in whom or in what—even if you have not the least idea of the significance and the possibilities of what you have faith in. To have faith, whether consciously or even quite unconsciously, is very necessary and desirable for every being.

'And it is desirable because it is by faith, and by faith alone, that there can appear the intensity of being-self-consciousness necessary for everyone, as well as the valuation of one's own personal being as a particle of everything existing in the Universe.

" 'But what has the destruction of the existence of another being to do with this faith—above all when you destroy it in the name of its Creator? Does not that "life," which He created as He created yours, have the same value as your own?

"'Making use of your psychic strength and cunning, that is, those data with which our Common Creator has endowed you for the perfecting of your Reason, you take advantage of the psychic weakness of other beings and destroy their existence.

"'Do you understand, you wretched creature, what an evil deed, in the objective sense, you commit by this?

"'First of all, by destroying the existence of other beings you reduce for yourself the number of factors, the sum of whose results can alone provide the conditions required for the self-perfecting of beings like yourself; and in the second place, you diminish or entirely destroy the hopes of our Common Father Creator in those possibilities put into you as a three-brained being upon whom He counts as a help for the future.

"'The absurdity of this terrible being-action is already obvious in your imagining that by destroying the existence of another being you are doing something pleasing to the very One who intentionally created that being. Can it be that the thought has never even entered your head that if our Common Father Creator also created this "life," He probably did so for some definite purpose?'

"Think,' I said further, 'think a little, not like a "Khorassanian donkey," as you have been used to thinking during your whole existence, but think a little honestly and sincerely, as is proper for a being to think who is, as you say yourself, made "in the image of God." Could it be that, when creating you and the beings you destroy, our Creator would have written on the foreheads of certain of His own Creatures that they were to be destroyed in His honor and glory? Anyone who thinks seriously and sincerely about it, even an idiot from "Albion's Isles," will be able to understand that this could never be.

'This is only an invention of men—men who say they are "in the image and likeness of God"; it does not come from Him who created men and these other beings of different forms which they destroy, as they fancy, for His pleasure and satisfaction. For Him there is no difference between the life of men and the life of beings of any other | form. Men are "life" and the beings of other exterior forms I are "life."

'In His wisdom He has foreseen that Nature should adapt different exterior forms of beings to the conditions and circumstances in which the process of their existence is destined to flow.

'Take yourself, for example: with your internal and external organs, could you go jump into the water and live there like a fish?

'Of course not, because you have neither the "gills," "fins," nor "tail" of a fish: you are not a "life" destined to exist in a medium such as water.

" 'If it occurred to you to go live in the water, you would soon choke, and sink to the bottom, where you would become hors d'oeuvre for those same fish who, in their own medium, would naturally be incomparably stronger than you.

'It is the same for the fish. Could one of them come and sit at this table with us and sip the "green tea" we are now enjoying? Certainly not! It has not the corresponding organs for manifestations of this kind.

'It was created for the water, and its internal and external organs are adapted to that clement, which is the only one where it can manifest itself effectively, and fulfill the purpose of its existence preordained by the Creator. 'Again in your case, your external and internal organs were created by our Common Creator in a corresponding manner. You are given feet so that you can walk, and hands to prepare and take the necessary food. Your nose and the organs connected with it are so adapted that you may take in and transform in yourself those cosmic substances that serve, in three-brained beings like yourself, to coat the two higher being-bodies—on one of which rests the hope of our Common All-Embracing Creator, for help in His need to actualize what He has foreseen for the good of everything existing.

"'In short, our Common Creator has given Nature the corresponding principle that enables her to coat and adapt all your internal and external organs in accordance with that sphere in which the process of existence of beings with such a brain-system as yours is destined to flow.

"'To illustrate this, take your own "donkey," now tied up in its stall. Even in regard to your own donkey, you abuse the possibilities given you by our Common Creator, for if this donkey is compelled to stand unwillingly in your stable, it does so only because it was created two-brained; and it was created two-brained because that organization of its common presence is necessary for cosmic existence on the planet. And therefore it is according to law that the possibility of "logical mentation" is lacking in your donkey's presence and, in consequence, it is according to law that it should be what you call "dullwitted" or "stupid."

"'As for yourself, although you were created for this same purpose of cosmic existence on planets, you were created also as a "field of hope" for our Common All-Gracious Creator, in other words, with the possibility of coating in your presence that Higher Sacred for whose arising the whole of our now existing world was created. Yet in spite of the possibilities given you, that is, in spite of your having been created three-brained and thus capable of logical mentation, you do not use this sacred property for its preordained purpose, but manifest it as "cunning" toward His other creatures such as, for example, your own donkey.

'Apart from the possibilities given you of consciously coating this Higher Sacred in your presence, your donkey has the same value for the common-cosmic process, and consequently for our Common Creator, as yourself, since each of you is predestined for some definite purpose, and all these different purposes, taken together, constitute the meaning of everything existing.

"'The only difference between you and your donkey lies in the form and quality of functioning of the internal and external organization of your common presence. For instance, you have only two legs, whereas your donkey has four, any one of which is immeasurably stronger than yours. Can you on those two weak legs of yours carry as much as that donkey can? Certainly not, because your legs were given you only for carrying yourself and the little that is necessary for the normal existence of a three-brained being as foreseen by Nature.

"'This unequal distribution of power and strength, which at first sight may appear unjust on the part of our Most Just Creator, was made by Great Nature solely because the surplus of cosmic substances granted you by the foresight of the Creator and by Nature for the purpose of personal self-perfecting is not given to your donkey, but instead of this Great Nature herself transforms this surplus of cosmic substance in the donkey's presence—without, of course, the donkey being aware of it—into the power and strength of certain of its organs for its present existence alone, thus enabling it to manifest that power incomparably better than you.

'And these manifestations of the different powers of beings of diverse forms constitute in their totality the exterior conditions that alone make it possible for three-brained beings like yourself consciously to perfect the "germ of Reason" placed in their presence to the required gradation of pure Objective Reason.

"'I repeat: all beings, large and small, of all brain systems without exception, existing on the Earth, within the Earth, in the air, or beneath the waters—all are equally necessary to our Common Creator for the common harmony of universal existence.

"'And since all these forms of beings, taken as a whole, constitute the form of the process of universal existence required by our Creator, the essence of each being is equally dear and equally valuable to Him. For our Common Creator all beings are only particles of the existence of one whole Essence spiritualized by Himself.

"'But what do we see around us here now? One of the forms of beings created by Him, the very form in whose presence He has placed all His hopes for the future welfare of everything existing, taking advantage of its superiority to lord it over other forms, destroying their existence right and left and, what is more, allegedly "in His Name."

"'These monstrous and sacrilegious acts are committed in every house and on every square, yet it never enters the head of any of these unfortunates that those beings whose existence you and I are destroying are just as dear to Him who created them as we ourselves, and that if He created those other forms of beings it must also have been for some purpose.'

"Having said all this to my friend, the priest Abdil, I went on: 'And the most deplorable thing is that every man who destroys the existence of other beings in honor of his revered idols does so with all his heart, convinced beyond any doubt that he is doing a "good deed."

'If any one of them should become aware that in destroying the existence of another being he is not only committing an evil deed against the true God and every real saint, but is even causing them, in their essence, sorrow and grief that there should exist in the Great Universe such monsters made "in the image of God," who can manifest themselves so ruthlessly and without conscience toward other creatures of our Common Father—I repeat, if any one of them should become aware of this, he would certainly agree with all his heart never again to destroy the existence of beings of other forms for sacrificial offerings.

'Then perhaps on the Earth also there would be observed the eighteenth commandment of our Common Creator " ' "Love everything that breathes."

'Destroying the existence of His other creatures as an offering to God is just like some vandal breaking into your house and wantonly destroying all the "goods" there that have taken you years to collect and cost you so much labor and suffering.

'Think—but I say again, think seriously Picture to yourself what I have just said and then tell me would you like it? Would you thank the shameless vandal who broke into your house? No! A million times no! On the contrary, your whole being would be outraged, you would want to punish the scoundrel, and with every fiber of your psyche you would try to find a means of revenge.

"'You would no doubt reply that all this is true enough and so on and so forth, "but after all I am only a man " Yes, indeed, you are only a man It is fortunate that God is God, and not vindictive and evil like man Certainly He will not punish you or take revenge upon you, as you would have done to the vandal who destroyed the goods it had taken you years to collect.

'It goes without saying God forgives everything—this has even become a law in the world.

"'But His creatures—men in this case—should not abuse His all-gracious and everywhere-penetrating Goodness, it is their duty not only to watch over all that He has created but also to maintain it.

"'Yet here on Earth men have even divided beings of all other forms into "clean" and "unclean." Tell me, what guided them when they made this division? Why, for instance, is a sheep "clean" and a lion "unclean"? Are they not equally beings? This also was invented by men. But why this invention, why this distinction? Simply because the sheep is a weak being, and moreover stupid, and they can do just what they like with it.

" 'But men call the lion "unclean" only because they dare not do what they like with it. The lion is cleverer and above all stronger than they are. Not only will the lion not allow itself to be destroyed, it will not even let people come near it. And if anyone should venture too close, this Mister Lion would give him such a crack on the noddle that our hero's life would fly away to regions concerning which the less said the better.

"'I repeat, a lion is "unclean" simply because men are afraid of it; it is a hundred times stronger than they are, a hundred times superior. A sheep is "clean" because it is much weaker than they and, as I said before, much more stupid.

"'Every being, according to its nature and the gradation of Reason attained by its ancestors and transmitted by heredity, occupies a definite place among beings of other forms.

'To clarify what I have just said, a good example is the difference between the presence, already definitely crystallized, of the psyche of your dog and your cat. You have only to pet your dog a little and get it used to anything you please, and it will become affectionate and obedient to the point of abasement. It will follow you around and cut every sort of caper just to please you. You can take liberties with it, beat it, be thoroughly mean to it; it will never turn on you, but only grovel still more at your feet.

'But try this sort of thing on your cat. Do you think it will respond to these indignities as your dog did, and cut the same humble capers for your amusement? Never in the world! Even if the cat is not strong enough to retaliate at once, it will never forget how you treated it, and sooner or later will get its revenge.

'There are stones of cats that have pounced on a man while he slept and bitten his throat, and I can well believe it, knowing what the cat's reasons may have been No, the cat will stand up for itself, it knows its own value, it is proud, and this is simply because it is a cat, and its nature is at that gradation of Reason which belongs to it according to the merits of its ancestors In any case no being, not even a man, should be angry with a cat for this Is it the cat's fault that it is a cat, and that owing to the merits of its ancestors its presence occupies that gradation of "self-consciousness"? A cat must not be despised for this, nor beaten, nor humiliated, on the contrary it should be given its due, as occupying a higher rung on the ladder of evolution of "self-consciousness."'

"By the way, my dear Hassein, on this subject of the mutual relations of beings, a famous former prophet from the planet 'Desagroanskrad,' the great Arhoonilo, now the assistant to the Chief Investigator of the whole Universe on matters of objective morality, once said 'If a being is higher than you in Reason, you should bow before him and try to imitate him in everything, but if he is lower than you, you should be just toward him, for you once occupied the same place, according to the Sacred Scale of Reason of our Creator and All-Maintainer.'

"So, my dear boy, this last conversation with that Earth friend of mine, the priest Abdil, made such a strong impression on him that for two whole days he did nothing but think and think In short, the result of it all was that he began to cognize and sense almost as he should have about the custom of 'sacrificial offerings.'

"Several days after this conversation of ours, one of the two big religious festivals in Tikliamish took place, the festival called 'Zadik'; and in the temple where he was the chief priest my friend Abdil, instead of delivering the usual sermon at the close of the ceremony, suddenly began speaking about 'sacrificial offerings.'

"I happened to go to the temple that day and was one of those who heard him speak. Although the theme of this sermon was unusual for such an occasion and such a place, it shocked no one, for he spoke better and more beautifully than ever before. He spoke so well and sincerely, and illustrated his theme with so many vivid and persuasive examples, that many of his listeners began to weep.

"His words produced such a strong impression on the whole congregation that although his sermon lasted into the next day, instead of the customary half hour or so, nobody wished to leave; and when it was over, everyone remained standing for a long time as if spellbound.

"In the days that followed, certain passages from his sermon began to circulate among those who had not been there to hear it.

"It is interesting to remark that it was the custom at that time for priests to exist solely on the offerings of their parishioners, and this priest Abdil had been receiving from his flock all kinds of food for his ordinary existence, for instance the roasted and boiled 'corpses' of beings of various exterior forms, such as chickens, sheep, geese, and so on. But after this famous sermon of his no one brought him any of these customary offerings, but only brought or sent him fruits, flowers, all kinds of handiwork, and other such products.

"My terrestrial friend became overnight the 'fashionable priest' of Koorkalai. And not only was the temple where he officiated always crammed with the citizens of the town, but he was also in great demand to preach in other temples. He delivered many sermons against sacrificial offerings, and the number of his admirers kept on growing, so that soon he was famous not only among the beings of the capital but throughout the whole country of Tikliamish.

"I do not know how it would all have ended had not the whole priesthood— that is, men-beings of the same profession as my friend—become alarmed by his popularity and I begun to oppose everything he preached. Obviously his colleagues were afraid that if the custom of sacrificial offerings were to disappear, their own excellent incomes would disappear also, and their authority would soon totter and finally crumble away altogether.

"Day by day the number of the priest Abdil's enemies increased, and they spread new slanders and innuendoes about him in order to lessen his popularity and destroy his authority.

"His colleagues began delivering sermons in their temples proving the exact opposite of everything Abdil had said.

"At last things came to such a pass that the priesthood bribed various beings with 'hasnamussian' properties to plan and commit all sorts of outrages upon this poor Abdil. And indeed these terrestrial nullities tried several times to destroy his existence by sprinkling poison on the various edible offerings brought to him.

"In spite of all this, the number of sincere admirers of his preaching grew daily.

"Finally the whole corporation of the priesthood could stand it no longer and one sad day my friend was brought to trial before the ecclesiastical high court, which sat for four days. By sentence of the high court, this Earth friend of mine was irrevocably expelled from the priesthood, and at the same meeting his colleagues also organized further ways of persecuting him.

"All this, of course, had a strong effect on the psyche of the ordinary beings, so that even those who had formerly respected him the most began to avoid him and to repeat all sorts of calumnies about him. The very ones who the day before had sent him flowers and other offerings, those who had almost worshiped him, were soon affected by the constant gossip and became his bitter enemies, as though he had not only insulted them personally but had slaughtered all their near and dear ones.

"Such is the psyche of the beings of that peculiar planet.

"In short, my friend's sincere wish for the good of those around him caused him only pain and suffering. But even this would hardly have mattered, if in a crowning act of treachery his colleagues, aided by other 'godlike' terrestrial beings, had not brought all this to an end; that is to say, they killed him.

"This happened in the following way. My friend had no relatives at all in the city of Koorkalai, as he was born in some distant place. And the hundreds of servants and other terrestrial nullities who had flocked around him when he was in a prominent position gradually left him when he lost his importance.

"Toward the end there remained only one very aged being, who had been with him for a long time. To tell the truth, this old man had stayed with him only on account of the infirmities of age which, owing to abnormal being-existence, are the inevitable lot of most of your favorites—in other words, owing to his complete uselessness for anything required in the ordinary conditions of being-existence there. He simply had no other place to go, and that was why he did not desert my friend, but stayed with him even after he had lost his importance and was being persecuted.

"Well, this old man went into my friend's room one sad morning and saw that his planetary body had been hacked to pieces. Knowing of my friendship with him, he ran at once to tell me about it. "I have already told you that I had begun to love the priest Abdil as though he were one of my own kin. So when I heard about this terrible event, there almost occurred in my presence a 'skinikoonartsino,' that is to say, the connections between my separate being-centers were almost shattered.

"But later that same day I became afraid that some unconscionable being might commit further outrages on my friend's planetary body and I decided to ward off at least that danger. So I immediately hired several suitable beings for a large sum of money and, unbeknownst to anybody else, had his planetary body removed and placed temporarily on my 'selchanakh,' or raft, which was moored not far away on the Oxoseria River and which I had kept there with the intention of returning on it to the Colhidius Sea, and to our ship Occasion.

"This sad end of my friend Abdil's existence did not prevent his sermons and exhortations from having a strong effect on a growing number of beings. And indeed the quantity of sacrificial slaughterings began to diminish perceptibly and it became evident that, even if this custom were not abolished, it would at least be considerably mitigated. And for the time being that was enough for me.

"As there was no reason for me to stay there any longer, I decided to return at once to the Colhidius Sea, and then to consider what to do with the planetary body of my friend.

"When I reached our ship Occasion I found an etherogram from Mars, informing me of the arrival there of another party of beings from the planet Karatas, and asking for my speedy return.

"Thanks to this etherogram a very strange idea came into my head, namely, that instead of disposing of my friend's planetary body on the Earth, I might take it with me and give it to the presence of the planet Mars.

"I decided to carry out this idea, for I feared that in their hatred, my friend's enemies might make a search for his planetary body; and if they happened to hear where it had been returned to the presence of their planet or, as your favorites say, 'buried,' they would no doubt find it and perpetrate further outrages upon it.

"And so, on the ship Occasion I soon ascended from the Colhidius Sea to the planet Mars, where the beings of our tribe, with the aid of several kind Martians who had already learned of the events that had just taken place on the Earth, paid due respect to the planetary body that I had brought back with me. They buried it with the ceremonies customary on the planet Mars, and over the burial place erected a suitable construction.

"In any case this was the first and will surely be the last 'grave,' as your favorites call it, for a being of the Earth on this at once so near yet so far and, for terrestrial beings, quite inaccessible planet Mars.

"I learned afterward that this story came to the attention of the Most Great Archangel Setrenotsinarco, the All-Quarters Maintainer of that part of the Universe to which the system Ors belongs, and that he manifested his approval by giving to the appropriate being a command concerning the soul of this terrestrial friend of mine.

"On the planet Mars I did indeed find awaiting me several beings of our tribe, recently arrived from the planet Karatas. Among them, by the way, was your grandmother, who, according to the indications of the chief 'zirlikner' of the planet Karatas, had been designated for me as the passive half for the continuation of my line."

Go to Next Page