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HOW I GOT INTO SCIENTOLOGY AND WHY I GOT OUT -- ILLUSTRATED INTERVIEW WITH JASON BEGHE |
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But the thing with Dave -- this is the other thing I was thinking when I was laughing, is when I got out, one of the first people I went to see was David. And his whole family was out of town, and I was just moving here, and now we live in the same city. And so I went over to his house, and we were just walking around, and we talked about it a little bit. Just a little bit. And I'd say, "Oh, by the way." And he'd say, "Okay."
So we started talking a little bit about the OT levels, and stuff like that, and he doesn't watch South Park or whatever the fuck, and he doesn't know, so "What were you into? What is the OT?" I don't know what he asked. But somehow I explained to him -- and here I just basically walked out the door -- and it did so much for me -- but I started to explain to him the story of Xenu, and the loyal officers. And I couldn't get a third of the way through the story when we had our faces on the floor, we were laughing so hard. I mean we couldn't even talk, because it was so retarded! It's insane!
Q. So what was your reaction when you saw the packet with the info? How did you react? A. Well, that's the other thing. I gotta say, and I told you earlier, I had been on a spiritual journey long before Scientology. This data is as different as the word "Thetan" is different from the word "Spirit." It's about that different. I mean, the Bible talks about the Devil and demons. It's nomenclature. "Entities" is what they talk about in these New Age religions. So all that stuff about "Thetans," because I was in Scientology heavily, I was a little bit like this.
But I thought, "Okay." And I remember that was my thought. "Okay, that's obvious." It wasn't that big of a surprise to me. It's like one of those moments, now that I look back and really look at it, there was a moment where I could have woken up there. But you choose not to. And that's part of the reason why Scientology is expensive. Well, if you're paying a lot of money for it, it makes it more valuable.
Like I was just listening to the fucking radio today. There's this guy, he was working at MTV in New York -- this was just on NPR today -- and he was on this art channel on NPR, and he was working at MTV and they were talking about packaging and marketing, and how important it is. And this other guy says, "It's not that important." And he said, "Bullshit!" And they had a little bit of an argument. And he said, "Let me show you something." And he was in New York, and he went and got a little garbage, and he put them in little plastic boxes, and he put a little stamp on it, and dated them, and signed them, and numbered them. And he's selling them for $50 each as art. It started as $10, and it was like a little gift. But now that they are up to $50 and $100 each, people are actually calling them "art." So it's an interesting thing. So again, you're driving the car. It's just that you don't realize that the car -- as a Scientologist, because you're in the trap -- it's got a pre-rigged route. It's called "The Bridge." So you feel like this is the easy life. "I just got to sit here and the car basically drives itself. All I gotta do is show up at the Church and I'll be happy." And there you are. And you're on the Bridge to total freedom. To total freedom! Yeah, they free you from yourself. Q. That's one of the ironic things about Scientology, is they have the slogan called "Think for Yourself." And you find yourself thinking exactly what Scientology wants you to think. A. But you're doing it yourself. That's why it's pretty good. It's really insidious. It's so bold and bald-faced, that you just would never suspect it. It reminds me, remember, I used to smoke cigarettes. So I smoked cigarettes, and I wanted to quit. And I'm smoking, smoking, and these new cigarettes came out from American Spirits. And they're supposed to be all natural. And the fucking thing on it said, "Addictive free." And I said, "Bullshit." So I started smoking it, and I'm down to two cigarettes a day. And I'm like disseminating the shit out of these things. They are the best cigarettes in the world. And I'm telling everybody, "These are addictive free. I'm hardly smoking at all." I said to this guy, "Look, it's addictive free." He says, "Additive free." And I went right back to a pack a day.
It's the same kind of thing. You're playing the game by yourself. Q. I don't think it's fair to say "by yourself," because it seems that this entire structure of Scientology is built to follow you onto the Bridge, and keep you on the Bridge. A. Yes, yes. And those people that I suspect, and again I'm not an expert, and this is one of the things that I can't fully confront yet, I can say that in my opinion the lion's share, at least well over 99% of your Sea Org people are the truest of the true believers. So they are really trying to help you. And they'll not take no for an answer. It's like your son wants to touch the stove, and you're willing to physically stop him, even though he's sure he wants to see that beautiful blue thing dancing there and touch it, and maybe even put his hair in it, or something. He doesn't know what fire is. They're willing to give their lives practically to keep you on the Bridge, because this is for your own good. But that's just one individual. And that individual is doing his job. There's not a lot of them that need to be told to get up in the morning. They're on autopilot too. But the whole group becomes this living breathing thing.
And the thing I haven't quite confronted is, I can't see quite the fuck what anybody gets out of it.
Like COB, does he want $300,000,000 million? Is that what it is? Does he want a billion dollars? Q. And COB is David Miscavige. A. Is that it? Is it just his power hard-on? Or is it just insanity? And I wonder, was LRH just crazy? Maybe he was an SP. But I don't know. The jury's out for me. Like if I wanted money, if I wanted a billion dollars or something like that, I couldn't do that.
I'd probably kill myself. I just couldn't live with myself like that. I certainly couldn't look my son in the eye. But that's me. Maybe that's me PTS. Maybe I'm fucked up. Maybe that's my conscience, whatever the fuck that is. I don't know. I haven't quite had that confront of truth or evil, depending on what you want. I don't know what the fuck anybody wants out of it. Like all this money is a big thing. Where does it go?
Q. We see recently there was a video released of Tom Cruise's birthday aboard the Free Winds, and I understand there was six figures spent on the birthday party for Tom. And that's parishioners' money going to keep Tom Cruise happy. A. They figure that's worth it. Just him being Tom Cruise, from their viewpoint, he probably brings in $100,000 a day for the Church in terms of interest and positive public relations. So six figures ain't dick. Certainly you could throw a party for him every day, and it wouldn't really put a dent in their bank account. People like to get mad at COs who take these big things, and Tom Cruise's party -- the fucking Free Winds is a flea bag. It's not a fucking nice boat. I've been on that thing. I got seasick every time. Q. Speaking of Tom Cruise, you were talking earlier about your identity being stripped and being replaced with that of "Scientologist," and certainly you can see that in Tom Cruise. Did you see the videotape that was released? A. Yeah, but I would suspect that that's what happened. And he was off for a while. And he's in gung-ho. I'm sure he went through a big ethics cycle and "woke up," because he probably had some trouble with his wife, and he found his ruin. Maybe he has trouble with girls, or something like that. That might be his whatever. Q. At any rate, he seems like the ideal of what a Scientologist should be. I mean, dedicated. A. Well, I was in there. COB called me the poster-boy for Scientology. I was as gung-ho as you can get. Q. How did it turn around for you? Why did you start to doubt? A. Well, it not only did not work anymore, the more auditing I did -- which I was encouraged to do -- the worse I got. I was starting to go fucking crazy. And it was fucking me up! Q. How far up the Bridge did you go? A. I'm a Class 5, OT5. I've done all my Ls, done a lot of -- what do you call those fucking things? -- all those other courses, Data series things, and blah blah blah. You know what's interesting to me? There was a big thing, maybe two years ago, or 1-1/2 years ago, that everybody wanted you to listen to your congresses.
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