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HOW I GOT INTO SCIENTOLOGY AND WHY I GOT OUT -- ILLUSTRATED INTERVIEW WITH JASON BEGHE |
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Now, in the bulk of the fucking policy is stuff that is pretty heavy: that if you're in Scientology an inch, you're in -- you know, this is the billion year contract.
This is the heavy Scientology. "We are the only hope for mankind, and whether you get it or not, it's the truth, and we're not here to placate you. We're here to try and save the planet. And we're the only hope for mankind. And so this is no game." So that's the first thing I got. And I said, "Okay, we'll see." I couldn't say I believed that, but it was an interesting, bold claim that made me say, "Okay, all the more. Is this shit really that good? Let's go." So here I am, I bought my little TRs and Objectives, and my purif, and I said to the supervisor -- because now by the time I was done it was 11:00 at night -- and I'm like, "Okay, when do we start?" And she said, "When can you come in to start the course, to finish up?" I said, "Let's start tomorrow. I can be here at 7:00 in the morning." And she said, "Well, we don't start until 9:00." I said, "I came here to do something. I've been here all day. You guys say you got a product." So she came in at 8:00 for me. So I came in and I just started. And I read all of my shit in there, and it sounded good. And the first exercise is a thing called OTTRO, which is basically where you sit three feet apart from somebody -- you cannot have any thinking mechanism -- and you close your eyes, and you're totally relaxed. But there's another person three feet in front of you doing the exact same thing. And the exercise is to be in communication with that person and your environment, but fully -- the key word is -- confronting, which he defines as "facing without flinching." So without thinking anything, without like I'm doing with you thinking, "Okay, Mark, he's got that beard and he's probably hiding behind it." Then I'm flunking, because I'm thinking instead of just being there. Without any thinking. And you do this, it says, until you get a major stable win. Okay? So I say, "Fuck it, okay, here's my first Scientology shit, and I'm there with whoever, and I'm sitting there and facing him without flinching. And I had a major, major stable win!
What I did, according to Scientologists -- and I don't have any other nomenclature for it, so it wouldn't work for me -- but I went exterior. So, in other words, the concept would be your thetan, you, your soul, whatever you want to call it, that's who you are. You're not the body.
I'm not Jason Beghe. It's like buying a new car. I'm the driver of the new car. So basically I went exterior and, to get back to the beginning of my story, I felt for the first fucking time the biggest win in my life. I knew who I was. That question that I'd been asking since I was cognizant, "Who am I?" I knew who I was!
And this was huge for me. I said, "Wow!"
And this isn't even that fucking auditing stuff they talk about. This is just some thing. And I said, "Shit! That's awesome." So I was blown out of my socks happy. And I was like, "Oh, so that's who I am." Because I knew I wasn't this thing. Because I would sometimes have this personality, sometimes I was a phony. You never know if you're real or not. But then there's those moments when it's like, "Who are you?" And I could see I could create effects on people and stuff. I mean, it was really interesting. Why would this person like me? I knew why I liked them, but why did they like me?
Q. They said back in class that you didn't trust yourself. Why didn't you trust yourself? A. I didn't know who I was. LEAPING ONTO THE BRIDGE So I go down and I say, "I want to buy this Clear thing," because that's enough for me. No reg ever had to reg me. As a matter of fact, I used to reg the reges. They would fucking run. Because I'd do things to them and stuff like that. I'd fuck with them. I liked doing that. So at any rate, I go to the reg and say, "I want to do this thing." And I figure it's going to be between $5,000 and $10,000. That purif thing was like $1,100, so the friggin Clear thing is going to be more. But I figured, "What the fuck." I had a couple of bucks saved. And they tell me the price of the thing -- and that's another thing, you know, the way they just can't say, "Oh, yeah, the Clear, it's $1,150." They're not used to somebody coming in and saying, "Let me get that thing." So that was hours and hours and hours. And of course, Bodhi, he's like sitting there with me, and he's going to get 10%, and he's excited because he was broke at the time. At any rate, it was like $50,000. So within three days -- and I probably had $60,000 to my name at that point -- I plopped down $50,000. I said, "Let's go." Q. That's a huge commitment. A. And so everybody fell in love with me. And David Miscavige called me, and he wrote me a letter and all this shit. And everybody got all this excitement about me. And then the other thing that cost $50,000 also was they said training. I said, "What's fucking training?" I just thought you sat there, you held those cans -- I'd done it in the interview, it sounded easy. And I say, "If it's going to be that great." And I remember reading what Clear is, and that sounds pretty fucking good. And all I'd done is sat there, and I knew who I was. Probably the biggest win I had in Scientology was on that first day. At any rate, they sell me the training. And I said, "What's that?" "Where you learn to be an auditor." And I said, "Listen, I'm an actor not an auditor. You know, that's cool." And they're trying to get me to do this thing, and buy a fucking E-meter. "$3,000, what, for that fucking thing? It looks like a fucking transistor radio."
But I'm like, "Oh, man, okay." But I trust them. I figure they're delivering a thing. These are good people. And I'm looking at these people and these are decent people. They're decent, and I'm trusting. And so they sell me the training. The only reason I bought the training is they said it's half the wins. So in order to get the wins of the auditing and really going Clear, you have to be trained. I said, "Then give me the training package." So I bought a Class 5 training package because they said you have to be as Trained as you're Cleared. I said, "What's a Clear got?" "A Class 5." Now you should know that a lot of people fall for this sales thing. And there is probably, I would guess, my guess conservatively off the top of my head is there is probably $500,000,000 million of unused training that has been bought. People buy it, but then they can't confront it. They can't face it without flinching. Me? I'm a Class 5 auditor. I fucking did it. I liked it. I thought it was cool. I actually got a lot of wins out of that shit. So that was part of another reason why people liked me, because I was actually doing it. I'd say, "I don't want to go on that audition. I'm going on a course." I was here to go Clear.
I figure I can do this in about 5 or 6 months. What the fuck, you know? Let's go. And I basically did that. You know, I stopped to do a little bit of stuff to pay the rent, but basically I was in the org from 8:00 in the morning. I had my own auditor, and she just audited me all day. I got all the other PCs off her fucking line, and I just went Clear. Well, actually, I went through my grades. It turned out I was a Past Life Clear.
That's why I was so able. Q. Explain what that concept is, a Past Life Clear. A. What is that? Oh, dear God. Past Life Clear.
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