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FIVE YEARS OF MY LIFE -- AN INNOCENT MAN IN GUANTANAMO

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Chapter 1:  FRANKFURT AIRPORT

IF I HAD TOLD MY MOTHER THAT I INTENDED TO TRAVEL TO Pakistan, she wouldn't have let me go. Even though I was nineteen years old, she would have forbidden me to get on the plane.

The problem was how to say good-bye to her without making it look like that was what I was doing. I decided to tell her my back was hurting and ask her for a massage. I could hug her in thanks afterward. That would be my good-bye.

I went upstairs, saying: "Ana, my back hurts. Can you give me a massage?"

"It's very late," my mother said. "I'll give you one tomorrow."

I stood on the stairs. My mother was in her bedroom. I couldn't see her in the darkness.

"Salam alaikum," I said.

"Alaikum salam," she answered.

I wouldn't see my mother again until I was twenty-five.

***

My bags were packed, and I had my passport, my visa, and my plane tickets. My friend Selcuk would be waiting for me in the car. My plane vas scheduled to take off from Frankfurt Airport around noon.

***

I also wanted to say good-bye to my brothers, but I couldn't just give them a hug. Ali always wanted me to lie down next to him in bed while he was trying to fall sleep. He'd ask me questions until his eyelids started to droop. So the night before I left, I said: "Ali, I'll come to your room. Let's talk for a while." That made him happy. After a while, just before he fell asleep, I said that I was going to my room for a minute. I gave him and my baby brother Alper a kiss and then turned off the light.

***

At the airport I felt uneasy. I wanted to tell my mother that I would be back and that she shouldn't worry about me. At 10 AM, I called her from a pay phone.

"Where are you?" she asked.

She had already discovered that I'd packed my things and left.

''I'm in another city ... not in Bremen. I'm going away for a little while, but I'll be back soon. Don't worry ..."

She started crying.

"Where are you going? Come back here immediately," she said.

''I'm just going traveling for a couple of weeks. Don't cry."

She didn't stop crying, but I had to hang up because I didn't want to miss my plane. There was no way I could tell her that I was flying to Pakistan.

She wouldn't have let me go.

And that would have been a good thing.

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