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LIFE AND TEACHINGS OF SRI AUROBINDO AND THE MOTHER |
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25. TOKEN OFFERING An American devotee of Mother returned to the USA after living in the Ashram for three years and met an old school friend. His friend Marc was a salesman for a large computer company. They sat together to exchange their experiences over the last three years. Marc told a sad tale of how he had been the best salesman in the company in the previous year, but now he was the worst. Everything in his life was going wrong. He was unable to sell even half as much as before. He lost interest in his job. His wife was unhappy and he was constantly weighed down by a heavy depression. The devotee also told his friend how he had spent the last three years in Pondicherry. When he spoke about Mother, Marc became very interested and asked him to tell more. By the end of the first hour, his friend’s sad face began to smile. In the second hour his friend began to laugh and beam with joy. He said, “I feel wonderful just hearing about Mother. I haven’t felt so happy in years.” They agreed to meet a week later. When they next met, Marc was smiling even more. He told the devotee that in one week his whole life seemed to be changing. He felt happy, his wife had stopped complaining and he was invited to an interview for a new job in an even larger company at a far higher salary. But he was afraid that with his poor performance for the last year, they would never select him. The devotee told him to simply remember Mother during the interview and imagine that the interviewer was Mother. He also suggested that his friend give a small token offering to Mother, which he happily did. Three days later Marc called him to say that he got the job. In the next few months, Marc and the devotee met often and spoke about Mother. Marc reported one good event after another. Within four months he was offered an even better job to head a new computer department of another company at nearly twice the salary that he was earning six months earlier. Marc wanted to visit India to see the Ashram before taking the new job, but he was afraid he could not afford the expense of Rs.20,000 and the loss of three weeks salary, which was another Rs.20,000. Anyway he decided to spend his last savings and go. Marc and the devotee met in Pondicherry. Marc said he had never known so much peace and joy before. After returning to the USA, he wrote to the devotee saying that on his return he had received an unexpected gift of Rs.40,000, exactly the amount he had lost by going to India! Marc was so happy with the changes in his life that he started talking to many of his employees about Mother. He also began sending monthly offerings to the Ashram as an expression of his gratitude. One day he was sitting in a company meeting and several employees were complaining that their pay cheques were nearly one month overdue. Marc started telling them about Mother and told them to offer the problem to Her. To everyone’s great amazement, even Marc’s, the company treasurer walked in five minutes later and handed everyone in the room their salary cheques. Marc’s wife also became devoted to Mother. Her father, who lived in a city 500 miles away, called her one day to say that he had been fired from a job he had had for 20 years and he was now too old to ever get another good job. Marc’s wife told this to her husband and he told it to his devotee friend. Marc did not like his father-in-law, but he felt sorry for the man’s problem. The devotee suggested a way out. The next day Marc’s wife called her father and asked him to send her a little money without asking any questions as to why she was asking for it. She was afraid to mention Mother, because her father was a very strict Christian. Her father said that he had faith in his daughter and agreed to send the money. When it arrived, she sent it to Mother as an offering. One week later her father called back to say that he had been hired as a temporary employee for two week’s time. A month later he called to say that he still had the temporary job. Even six months later he still had the same job. After nearly seven months, one day Marc received a call from his father-in-law, who was bubbling over with joy. He told Marc that he had been offered a new permanent job with a reputable company in Los Angeles in the very same building where Marc was working! Marc was very happy for his father-in-law’s good fortune, but sorry that they would be moving so close to his own home! Marc’s story of good fortune still continues. The last we heard he had become a partner in a computer company earning five times as much as before he came to Mother. “Slowly a feeling of frustration begins to develop in me. Within myself I feel confident. I have faith in Mother too. Still, if nothing moves for weeks and months and years, the faith gives way. I am afraid I have to settle down as a teacher in a Polytechnic for life. If that is so, it will be a misfortune. That will bring down to dust all the high hopes with which I entered the Engineering College, worked hard, maintained it to achieve First Class all five years without fail. Also your silence is intriguing to me. I wish you throw some light on my situation,” said the young engineer who called on me that day. What he said was true, but that is not the whole truth. As the job situation in the country for engineers had become bleak and was showing signs of worsening, those engineering graduates who had managed to get some placement or other (like this young man in a polytechnic teaching post) considered themselves lucky but were dismayed by the prospects. I did not have much of an encouraging impact on him, but I knew, in his case, that this was not the end. I wanted to be clear about his future, but brief. I said, “I understand your mind and your dejection. But there is one more element in your case and that is the fact that you had Darshan of Mother last year. Ordinarily Mother’s Darshan or a visit to the Samadhi would have an immediate effect. For some reason, in your case, it has not happened. I know that Mother acts swiftly, but if She delays, She has Her own reasons. When it is all over, you will realise that the delay is only for good.” He was reassured to some extent, but was not cheered up to his normal level of infectious cheerfulness. He is a brilliant young man. The one striking aspect of his personality is that he is always found laughing. He generally begins a conversation with laughter. He comes from a very respectable family that has been reduced to hard work. His father was a leader among men during his young days, when the family was flourishing. Later, adversity overtook the family. Everything was lost except the high qualities acquired during days of affluence. Six children in the family, one after the other, died before they reached the age of ten. The only surviving child was this engineer, who received in his upbringing all the affection due to the dead children. As the father was not affluent, the normal course would be to terminate his education at the 8th standard and begin helping the father in his profession. But the child wanted to read, and the father also felt he should study. In spite of poverty, the father was held in great respect among the family members spread over several villages. More than one young man in the family circle had been initiated into life by his father, and all of them were somewhat affluent. They remained grateful to the old man who had put them on their feet. So, the boy was sent to one of his uncle’s for high school education. The boy deserved this support. Without fail, during all the three years he was in high school, he secured very high marks, often standing first in the school. In the SSLC exam he secured over 400 marks. He had cherished ambitions about higher education, particularly as an engineer. He spoke to his father. The father had Rs.500 saved over a period of many years, and in future he could not save much more. It was very kind of his uncle to have educated him for three years. To expect any further help, especially for higher education at Madras, was not possible. In consultation with me, he decided to join a polytechnic with the money on hand. And if he won a scholarship, he could finish the three years successfully. That was the best course open to him. His uncle accompanied him when he was asked to appear for an interview at the polytechnic at Chidambaram. While waiting for their turn, the students exchanged information. Everyone who met this boy, on learning about his high score at the SSLC exam, remarked in passing, “If I had this score, I wouldn’t join the polytechnic.” The uncle, who was listening to these stray conversations, suddenly decided that his nephew deserved a college education and, come what may, he must provide it. He suggested to the boy that it was better to drop the idea of joining polytechnic and take up the idea of joining a college. The boy cheerfully consented and ended up in Loyola College. He passed PUC in first class. His uncle’s enthusiasm continued. The boy joined Engineering College. He maintained the high academic performance of securing a first class. He won a scholarship every year. His uncle made up any gap between the real expenses and scholarship amount. It was a misfortune that on his leaving the College he found the job market bleak. Jobs were scarce and no one would consider him. One of the employers the boy approached offered him a job at Rs.100. This is worse than not having a job, adding insult to injury. Ever since the boy came to the town for high school education, I knew him and had a share in his life as his teacher. He used to consult me on all major decisions of his life. Now it was a bleak period. He was running for a year to every possible opportunity of a job without success. It was at this time that he visited the Ashram with me and felt the ocean of peace that is Mother. He once said, “When I prostrate before Mother, my being is filled with joy and peace. Often I used to feel that I should continue to prostrate before Her for a longer time.” With heroic effort, he succeeded in getting appointed as a lecturer in a polytechnic at Madurai. This was a great relief but not a permanent solution for someone with his qualifications. He was in Madurai for a year and continuing to search for a better job. That search yielded no results. There was no hope of any future results. It was at that time he came to me and expressed the frustration mentioned earlier. I knew that better things were in store for him. Mother delays with a purpose. But my understanding was no solace for his position. He returned after a few weeks and appeared full of news. He sat down as if he had swallowed something which bothered him. He began saying that he had some very good news but was doubtful of the entire report he was going to give and said that my opinion on the matter would decide the issue. I was happy and anxious to know the news. He said, “My uncle is in the dyeing trade. One of his customers is in Salem. Occasionally this man comes to this depot in Cuddalore OT. My uncle has long trade connections with him, but there is no particular friendship or intimacy. Today my uncle as usual went to OT to collect the dyes. Mr. Mudaliar from Salem had come there. He called my uncle over and said, “Do you know of any of our boys with an engineering degree? My friend is starting a company in Madras with French technology. I am a director of the company. The company is sending six engineers to Paris for training. The Managing Director has allotted one such job to me. The only condition is that candidate should have first class in Mechanical Engineering. I wish to offer the opportunity to one of my relatives. Though I have made money, there is no boy with that kind of education among my relatives. If you can get me any boy of that description from our people, I would happily appoint him.” My uncle answered, “There is one in my house fully meeting the requirements. I shall bring him to you at Salem.” The boy told me, “My uncle is unable to believe this, nor can I. Of course, there is nothing here for me to lose, but it is hard to believe. My uncle and I felt we should take your advice.” In reply I said, “Always it is hard to believe things when they come from Mother. As you speak, I see Mother’s light on your face. This is truly Grace. Accept it with gratitude to Mother.” Walter, a 65 year old American businessman, first came to India in 1972 to visit his son and daughter-in-law who had come a year earlier to join the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. In 1956 W and his family were living in a house about 20 miles north of New York City. The house had a large yard and a driveway about 150 feet long going from the street to the garage, which was at the back of the house. One night during the winter there was a heavy snowfall. The next morning all the roads were completely covered with snow. The city sent ploughs around to clear the roads as was their custom. W and his family went out early to shovel the snow off the driveway so that he could take the car out and drive to work. While W was lifting a heavy shovelful of snow, suddenly he felt a sharp, intense pain in the middle of his back and he fell over on his stomach into the snow. His family rushed to him and carried him into the house to his bed. He was moaning in unbearable pain and could barely move without crying out. A doctor was called to the house and gave medication so that W could sleep. Later he was taken to the hospital and underwent intensive examination. The doctors discovered that one of the disks in his spinal cord had slipped out of line and was pressing on the spinal nerve. They operated to correct the injury. After that W had to remain in bed for 6 months at home. Frequently his family would awake in the night hearing him cry in pain. After six months the doctors said he could return to work but for the rest of his life he would have to wear a large girdle 18 inches wide wrapped around his waist. The girdle was fitted with long flat metal rods in the back to hold his back firmly in place. For 18 years W had worn the girdle. Once or twice he tried to live without it for a day or two and immediately the pain would return. W first visited the Ashram in 1972. At that time his son invited him to have the Darshan of Mother in Her room, but W declined. Again W visited Pondicherry in 1973 and again his son asked him if he would like to see Mother. W said to his son, “You know I don’t believe in all this religion and spirituality business. I have never bowed before anyone in my life and I am not about to do so now.” His son replied, “No one said you have to bow to Mother if you don’t want to. You can behave exactly as you please.” Finally W decided to see Mother. He was taken to Her room and Mother was very happy to see him. Without even thinking, W went down on his knees before Mother and She held his hand for several minutes.” When W came downstairs from Mother’s room, his face was bright red and he was glowing with a big smile. He went up to his son and said, “You never told me it would be like this. There is nothing else you can do except kneel before Mother. When She looked in my eyes I felt my heart swelling so big that I was afraid my chest would burst.” Again in 1974 W came to the Ashram and stayed in a guest house with his son for two weeks. One night W had a dream that he was standing in the Ashram surrounded by a crowd of people and he was presented a special medal or award. The next morning he forgot the dream, but a few hours later an Ashramite came and gave him a present. It was a silver pin with the symbol of Sri Aurobindo. The man explained that Mother herself had worn this pin on her head dress many times. Suddenly W remembered his dream and he was overcome with emotion and could not even speak to thank the man for 15 or 20 minutes. A few days later, W’s son noticed that his father wasn’t wearing his girdle. In reply to his son’s enquiry, W said he felt so relaxed and peaceful that he wanted to remove it for a day or two and see what happened. The old pain did not return and so he stopped wearing the girdle for the rest of his visit. When he returned to the USA, W’s wife was amazed to find her husband without his girdle on. Still W did not put it on and the pain did not return. Now W is 73 years old. He is retired and works very actively in his garden growing flowers and trees. He has never worn the girdle for a single day in the last 9 years. He is a small landholder owning six acres of dry land. After years of hard work, he had earned this property. Along with that, his status had also grown in the village. He was one of the important leaders of the village though he was only middle aged. He took an active part in politics too. Any government scheme that came to the village would seek his cooperation for implementation. With the progress of the nation, his village too received the benefits of education, roads, electricity, bank aid, and the cooperative movement. He was also an important beneficiary of all these schemes. During these years of progress, his dry lands received electricity, a borewell, crop loans, hybrid seeds, etc. He was a rising star of the village, but with a small base, often shaky because of the uncertainties of agricultural life. One year circumstances were very favourable. He received government loans in time to raise crops. He could cultivate all his six acres in the primary season for groundnut, but the price was not helpful. So his great hopes of paying off some of his old loans remained unfulfilled. For the second season of groundnut, not many villagers would take the risk as pests would be virulent during this season and water supply would not be fully assured. Only those assured of all resources and capable of taking risks would cultivate groundnut in the second season, which extended into the peak of summer. As the prices during this lean season were always attractive, the season retained its charm for the farmers. This farmer went for groundnut in the second season. He could do that because he was assured of water supply from his borewell. Favoured by conducive circumstances, he was again able to cultivate all the six acres. The crop was good. Luckily there was no pest. If only the customary high price of this off-season were available, he could turn a corner in his life. In that sense this crop was a deciding one. If all went well, his rising position in the village would become an accomplished fact. Otherwise he could slide down and all his energies would go to keep him from sliding down. Just when every circumstance was favourable, his borewell failed to supply water after the bottom of the hole became stuck with clay preventing water from being pumped out. Normally this could be repaired in a month or six weeks, if everything went well. This was the peak of summer in the month of May. Soil dries up in minutes after watering due to the heat. During such emergencies, the adjacent farmers used to help save the situation. Unfortunately for him, in his area all lands were dry. He was the only one who owned and operated a borewell. The situation was bleak. An excellent crop was now to wilt before the very eyes of the owner. Indeed, it was a pathetic situation. There was nothing for the farmer to do, not even a line of hope for thought. Around 10 p.m. this man with this background presented himself at my house, having travelled from his village. His face was dark and sullen, expression pitiable. Before narrating all these details to me, he prefaced it saying, “My hopes were great till yesterday. Now they are dashed to pieces. I feel stung. Life is merciless. No one is in a position to offer me even words of consolation. My heart is heavy. Please be patient with me and let me explain my plight. I may feel somewhat unburdened, if you listen.” He spoke. I listened. He went over every little detail of his misfortune with animation, speaking in a choked voice. When he finished, I noticed he was no longer pitiable, or sorrow-laden. He was somewhat relaxed. Perhaps he had found some relief in speaking. I spoke in turn, inspiring confidence in him. I said as he was a hard-working person and had done meticulously everything he could do in his power, his crop would not wilt. He was intrigued and listened intently. I repeated that God helped those who helped themselves, and he was one like that. It was a riddle to him, but his eyes began to sparkle with a trace of hope. He had heard of the Ashram but never visited the Samadhi nor did he know of Mother and Her personality. I mentioned in one brief sentence, “Your crop is sure to be saved if you pray to Mother.” All that he had to do was not to exercise his mind how it would be saved. I told him to go to the Samadhi and pray that his crops must be saved. He endorsed my suggestion wholeheartedly and vigorously. I saw his grief vanish and that meant to me that his crops would certainly be saved. The next night it rained. It was a good rain. His crops would be saved, if only that rain extended to the village. I felt that the rain had come to save his crop and extended itself up to my place. Ten days later he came with a beaming face twice in size. He said, “Your words put strength in me. I had no question in my mind. I felt I was lifted out of depression. Straight from here I went home and then left for Pondicherry. I scarcely knew which bus I took or who was by my side. There was only one thought in my mind. It was my crop’s future. I reached the Ashram and went to the Samadhi. That was the first visit for me. I did not know what to do. I stood nearby and voiced a prayer. I forgot myself. I don’t know what words I uttered. My body was still and mind disappeared. I don’t know how long I remained there like that. When I came to myself, I saw people meditating around. There were flowers on the Samadhi. I felt extremely peaceful, relieved and relaxed. Slowly I walked away. Until I reached home again, I was in a kind of daze. In my condition, I forgot the crop too. The next night it rained. It poured and poured non-stop. My heart was filled with gratitude. I offered Mother deeply-felt gratitude. The next morning when I visited the fields, the crop had a sparkle on the leaves. Surely no amount of watering could have had this effect. Luckily the crop needed only one more watering before harvest. The yield was slightly bigger than expected. The price too was better than last year.” |