|
DAVID BOWIE, JENNIFER CONNELLY, MUPPET GOBLINS, AND TOTAL DIS-ENLIGHTENMENT IN JIM HENSON'S "LABYRINTH" -- SCREENPLAY |
|||
|
[Goblin] Who bit me? [Goblin] Oh, my aching sushi! [Sarah] Now, stop that. Is that any way to treat someone who's trying to help you? Don't you want me to help you down? [Ludo] Ludo down. [Sarah] Ludo? Is that your name? You seem like such a nice beast. Well, I certainly hope you are what you seem to be. Just hang on. I'll get you down. Just a second. I'm sorry! Ludo, are you hurt? [Ludo] Friend? [Sarah] That's right, Ludo. I'm Sarah. [Ludo] Sarah. [Sarah] Here, let me help you. Are you okay? [Ludo] Sarah friend. [Sarah] Now, wait. Just a second. I want to ask you something, Ludo. [Ludo] What? [Sarah] I have to get to the castle at the labyrinth's center. Do you know the way? [Ludo] No. [Sarah] You don't know either, huh? I wonder if anyone knows how to get through this labyrinth. *** [Hoggle] Get through the labyrinth. Get through the labyrinth. One thing for sure -- she'll never get through the labyrinth. *** [Sarah] Hey. Where did they come from? What do you think? Which shall we choose out of these two ugly characters? [Knocker] It's very rude to stare! [Sarah] I'm sorry. I was just wondering which door to choose. [Knocker] What? [Knocker] It's no good asking him.
[Knocker] Don't talk with your mouth full. [Knocker] I'm not talking with my mouth full! [Sarah] Wait a second. I can't understand you. What were you saying? [Knocker] It is so good to get that thing out. [Sarah] What were you saying? [Knocker] I said, it's no good talking to him. He's as deaf as a post. [Knocker] Mumble, mumble. You're a wonderful conversational companion. [Knocker] You can talk! All you do is moan! [Knocker] No good. Can't hear you. [Sarah] Where do these doors lead? [Knocker' What? [Knocker] Search me. We're just the knockers. [Sarah] How do I get through? [Knocker] Huh? [Knocker] Knock, and the door will open. [Knocker] I don't want that thing back in my mouth. [Sarah] Come on. I want to knock. [Knocker] Mm-mmm. [Knocker] Doesn't want his ring back in his mouth, eh? Can't say I blame him. [Sarah] Sorry. [Knocker] That's all right. I'm used to it. [Sarah] Come on. *** [Jareth] You're welcome. He's a lively little chap. I think I'll call him Jareth. He's got my eyes. [Ludo] Ludo scared. [Sarah] Aw, give me your hand. Come on. Imagine a big thing like you being scared. [Ludo] Yeah. [Sarah] See, Ludo? There's nothing to be afraid of. Ludo, where are you? Hoggle, help! *** [Hoggle] I'm comin', Sarah. [Jareth] Well, if it isn't you. And where are you going? [Hoggle] Well, the little lady gave me the slip, but I just hears her now, so I was about to lead her back to the beginning like you told me. [Jareth] I see. [Sarah] Ludo! [Jareth] For one moment I thought you were running to help her. But no, not after my warnings. That would be stupid. [Hoggle] Oh, you bet it would! Me help her after your warnings? [Jareth] Oh, dear. Poor Hoghead. [Hoggle] Hoggle. [Jareth] I've just noticed your lovely jewels are missing. [Hoggle] Oh, yes, so they are. My lovely jewels. Let me think. I better find 'em, but first I'm off to take the little lady back to the beginning of the labyrinth, just like we planned. [Jareth] Wait. I've got a much better plan. Give her this. [Hoggle] Wha -- What is it? [Jareth] It's a present. [Hoggle] It ain't gonna hurt the little lady, is it? [Jareth] Why the concern? [Hoggle] I won't do nothin' to harm her. [Jareth] Oh, come, come, Hogbrain. I'm surprised at you losing your head over a girl. [Hoggle] I ain't lost my head. [Jareth] You don't think a young girl could ever like a repulsive little scab like you, do you? [Hoggle] She said we was -- [Jareth] Bosom companions? Friends? [Hoggle] Don't matter. [Jareth] You'll give her that or I'll tip you straight into the Bog of Eternal Stench before you can blink. [Hoggle] Yes. Right. [Jareth] And Hoggle ... if she ever kisses you, I'll turn you into a prince. [Hoggle] You -- You will? [Jareth] Prince of the Land of Stench. *** [Sarah] Ludo? What's going on? What do you want? [Goblin] What, us? We're just after having a good time. [Goblin] That's right! [Goblin] Don't got no problems [Goblin] No problems [Goblin] Ain't got no suitcase [Goblin] No suitcase [Goblin] Ain't got no clothes to worry about [Goblin] No clothes to worry about [Goblin] Ain't got no real estate or jewelry or gold mines to hang me up [Goblin] I just throw in my hand [Goblin] Throw in his hand [Goblin] With the chilliest bunch in the land [Goblin] In the land [Goblin] They don't look like much [Goblin] They're so chilly chilly [Goblin] They positively glow glow. Chilly down [Goblin] With the wild gang [Goblin] Think small with the wild gang [Goblin] Bang heads with the wild gang [Goblin] Like the man said, don't lose your head. [Goblin] When your thing gets wild Chilly down, chilly down [Goblin] With the wild gang [Goblin] Hey, I'm a wild child [Goblin] Let's fly with the wild gang [Goblin] Walk tall. [Goblin] Good time, bad food. [Goblin] Yeah. [Goblin] When your thing gets wild Chilly down, chilly down [Goblin] Roll 'em. [Goblin] Snake eyes! [Goblin] Hey, lady! [Goblin] Fore! [Goblin] So when things get too tough [Goblin] Get too tough [Goblin] Your chin is dragging on the ground [Goblin] Draggin on the ground [Goblin] And even down looks up [Goblin] Down looks up [Goblin] Bad luck [Goblin] We can show you a good time [Goblin] Show you a good time [Goblin] And we don't charge nothing [Goblin] Nothing at all [Goblin] Just strut your nasty stuff, Wiggle in the middle, yeah [Goblin] Get the town talking, bad gang [Goblin] Chilly down with the wild gang [Goblin] Think small [Goblin] Think small with the wild gang [Goblin] Bang heads! [Goblin] Bang heads with the wild gang [Goblin] Hey, listen up. [Goblin] When your thing gets wild, Chilly down, chilly down [Goblin] With the wild gang [Goblin] Shake your pretty little head. [Goblin] Act tall with the wild gang [Goblin] Tap your pretty little feet. [Goblin] Good times, bad food [Goblin] Come on! [Goblin] Hey, hey! Her head don't come off. [Goblin] Of course it doesn't! [Goblin] She's right. It's stuck on. [Goblin] Hey, lady. [Goblin] Where you going with a head like that? [Goblin] Hey, man, I know what we can do. Take off her head! [Goblin] Yeah, let's take her apart. [Goblin] Lady, that's his head. [Goblin] That's my head! [Goblin] That's a friend of mine. [Goblin] What are you doing? [Goblin] Hey! Wait! [Goblin] Hey, lady ... [Goblin] It's against the rules to throw other people's heads. [Goblins] You're only allowed to throw your own head. [Goblin] Yeah, that's right. [Goblin] Where's the referee? [Goblin] We'll just take your head off. [Goblin] Somebody stop her. [Goblin] Come back, little lady. [Goblin] Play the game. [Goblin] Yeah, we're going to throw your head. [Goblin] You can't quit. The game's not over. [Goblin] Hey, lady! [Sarah] Leave me alone! [Goblin] We get a free throw. [Goblin] Don't you want to take your head off? [Goblin] Of course she does. [Hoggle] Grab it! [Goblin] Don't you want to look like us? [Sarah] Leave me alone. [Goblin] We want her! Get us all! [Goblin] If you play, we'll take off your arms! [Goblin] Or we'll take off your ear. [Goblin] You don't need two ears. [Goblin] Game's almost over. [Goblin] Time's up.
[Hoggle] Go away. [Sarah] Hoggle, you've come to help me. [Hoggle] Don't kiss me! Don't kiss me! No, no, no! [Sarah] Hoggle, hold on. Oh, my God. Oh, what is it? [Hoggle] The Bog of Eternal Stench! [Sarah] I never smelled anything like it. It's like -- [Hoggle] It doesn't matter what it's like. It's a Bog of Eternal Stench. Help! [Sarah] Hold on. [Hoggle] What did you have to go and do a thing like that for? [Sarah] Do what? You mean rescue you? [Hoggle] What? No. You kissed me. [Sarah] Oh, my gosh. Don't pretend to be so hard. I know you came back to help me, and I know that you're my friend. [Hoggle] Did not. Am not. I just come to get me property back. Oh, and give you -- give you -- [Sarah] Give me what? Ludo! [Ludo] Smell! [Sarah] Where's Hoggle? [Hoggle] Get off of me! [Sarah] Here. Oh, no, it's okay. This is Ludo. He's a friend too. [Hoggle] A what? [Ludo] Smell! [Sarah] You're right. [Hoggle] Oh, my God. [Sarah] There's a bridge. Come on. [Hoggle] Watch it. You step in this stuff and you'll stink forever. [Sir Didymus] Stop! Stop, I say. [Sarah] Please, we have to get across. [Sir Didymus] Without my permission, no one may cross. [Sarah] Please, I only have a little time left! [Hoggle] We've gotta get out of this stench. [Ludo] Smell bad. [Sir Didymus] Stench? Of what speaketh thou? [Sarah] This smell. [Sir Dydmus] I smell nothing. [Hoggle] Oh, you're joking. [Sir Didymus] But I live by my sense of smell. The air is sweet and fragrant, and none may pass without my permission! [Ludo] Smell bad. [Hoggle] Oh, get out of my way! [Sir Didymus] I warn thee, I'm sworn to do my duty! [Sarah] Come on. Let us get across. [Sir Didymus] Hold! Listen, I don't want to have to hurt you. [Sarah] Hoggle, what are you doing? [Sir Didymus] Let go of my staff, sir! All right then. I can conquer this mountain. Thou must do better than that. Give up? Huh? Enough! Before this day, never have I met my match in battle. Yet this noble knight has fought me to a standstill. [Sarah] Are you all right, Ludo? [Ludo] Smell! [Sir Didymus] Sir Ludo, if that's thy name, now I, Sir Didymus, yield to thee. Come, let us be brothers henceforth, and fight for the right as one! Thank you very much. [Ludo] Ludo get brother. [Sir Didymus] Steady. Well met, Sir Ludo. [Sarah] Good. Come on. [Sir Didymus] Wait a minute! You forget my sacred vow, my lady. I cannot let you pass. [Sarah] But you said Ludo is your brother. [Sir Didymus] I have taken an oath, and I must defend it to the death. [Ludo] The smell! [Sarah] Okay. Let's handle this thing logically. What exactly have you sworn? [Sir Didymus] I have sworn with my lifeblood no one shall pass this way without my permission. [Sarah] Well, may we have your permission? [Sir Didymus] Well, I -- Yes. [Sarah] Thank you, noble sir. [Sir Didymus] My lady. [Sarah] Uh-oh. [Sir Didymus] Have no fear, sweet lady. This bridge has lasted for a thousand years. It seemed solid enough. [Sarah] Hoggle! [Sir Didymus] Fear not, fair maiden. I will save thee. Somehow. Sir Ludo, canst thou sit by and howl when yon maiden needs our help? [Sarah] That's incredible, Ludo. [Sir Didymus] My brother! Canst thou summon up the very rocks? [Ludo] Sure. Rocks friends.
[Hoggle] Here. [Sir Didymus] Wait for me. Ambrosious, it's all right. You can come out now. Come on. That-a boy. My loyal steed. Steady. Forward. Steady, boy. Come on, Ambrosious. Just close your eyes and go. [Sarah] Let's get out of here. [Sir Didymus] Excuse us. Thank you. [Jareth] I wouldn't do that, if I were you. [Hoggle] Oh, please, I can't give it to her. [Sir Didymus] Come on then. We should reach the castle well before day. *** [Jareth] Look, Sarah, is this what you're trying to find? So much trouble over such a little thing, but not for long. She'll soon forget all about you, my fine fellow. Just as soon as Hoggle gives her my present, then she'll forget everything. [Sir Didymus] Is that my stomach or yours, Ambrosious? [Ludo] Hungry. [Sarah] Yeah. Well, we can't stop now. Maybe we can find some berries or something. [Hoggle] Sarah? [Sarah] Yeah? [Hoggle] Here. [Sarah] Thank you! You're a lifesaver. This tastes strange. What have you done? [Hoggle] Oh, damn you, Jareth. And damn me too. [Sarah] Everything's dancing. [Sir Didymus] Yea, verily. Whoa, Ambrosious, whoa! The castle doth lie yonder, my lady. My lady?
*** Falling in love *** [Hoggle] Oh, she'll never forgive me. What have I done? I've lost my only friend. That's what I've done. [Sarah] What was I doing? [Junk Lady] Get off my back! Why don't you look where you're going young woman, hmm? [Sarah] I was looking. [Junk Lady] Huh? Huh? Where were you going, hmm? [Sarah] I don't remember. [Junk Lady] You can't look where you're going if you don't know where you're going. [Sarah] I was searching for something. [Junk Lady] Look here. [Sarah] Lancelot? Thank you. [Junk Lady] That's what you were looking for, wasn't it, my dear?
[Sarah] Yes. I forgot. [Sarah] It was just a dream. I dreamed it all, Lancelot. But it was so real. Let's go see if Daddy's back, okay? [Junk Lady] Better to stay in here, dear. Yes. There's nothing you want out there. No! Oh, what have we got here? [Sarah] Lancelot. [Junk Lady] Your little bunny rabbit. You like your little bunny rabbit. Don't you? Yes, yes. There you go. There's Betsy Bou. You remember Betsy Bou, don't you? Yes, yes. Now, then, what else have we got? What's this? Let's have a look. It's a pencil box. Got lots of pencils in it too. Here's your panda slippers. You know how much you like them. You never wanted them thrown away. There they are. That's right. Okay, now then, what else? Oh, it's little Horsey. You love little Horsey, don't you dear? And look at this! You got a printing game, you have. Oh, here's a treasure. You'll want that, won't you, my dear? Yes, go on, put it on. Make yourself up. Here's dear old Flopsy. You'll want her. There you go. Oh, yes. Ah, oh, yes. Charlie Bear. Right. There's Charlie Bear for you. [Sarah] There was something I was looking for. [Junk Lady] Ah, don't talk nonsense. It's all here. Everything you've ever cared about is all right here. There's your little toy candy shop. [Sarah] "Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I fought my way here to the castle .eyond the Goblin City to take back the child that you have stolen." [Junk Lady] What's the matter, my dear? Don't you like your toys? [Sarah] It's all junk. [Junk Lady] Well, what about this? This is not junk, eh? [Sarah] Yes, it is! I have to save Toby! [Sir Didymus] My lady! Are you all right? Fair maiden. Thank goodness thou art safe at last. [Sarah] Where are we? [Ludo] Sarah back. [Sir Didymus] My lady, we're almost there. Those are the gates to the Goblin City. [Sarah] Ludo, Sir Didymus. Let's go quickly. We don't have much time. [Ludo] Yeah. [Sir Didymus] Right, Ambrosious. Forward. [Hoggle] You know. [Sir Didymus] Open up. Open the door. [Sarah] Sir Didymus, we must go quietly. [Sir Didymus] Open up. Open up right now! [Sarah] You'll wake the guard. Quiet. [Sir Didymus] Well, let them all wake up! I shall fight you all to the death! [Sarah] Please, Sir Didymus, for my sake, hush. [Sir Didymus] But of course. For thee, anything. But I'm not a coward? [Sarah] No. [Sir Didymus] And my sense of smell is keen? [Sarah] Oh, yes. [Sir Didymus] Then I shall fight anyone anywhere, anyplace, any time! [Sarah] We know! Now hush. Quietly. [Sir Didymus] Ambrosious, be quiet now. I don't see why we have to be so quiet. It's only a Goblin City. [Sarah] I smell trouble. Come on, Ludo. Oh, no. What is that? [Monster] Who goes? Who goes? [Sarah] Watch out! [Sir Didymus] Ambrosious, will you come here? Come here right now! Will you please come into the open? You're embarrassing me. [Sarah] Hoggle! [Hoggle] Look out! Get out of there. [Goblin] What are you doing? [Hoggle] Bombs away! [Goblin] That wasn't very nice. [Hoggle] My turn now. How do you drive this thing? [Sarah] Drop the ax! [Hoggle] I'm trying. [Sir Didymus] Come here at once. [Ludo] What happened? [Hoggle] Where's reverse? [Sarah] Get out of there, Hoggle! [Hoggle] Abandon ship. [Sarah] Hoggle, are you all right? [Hoggle] I'm not asking to be forgiven. I ain't ashamed of nothin' I did. Jareth made me give you that peach. I don't care what you think of me. I told you I was a coward. I ain't interested in being friends. [Sarah] I forgive you. [Hoggle] You -- You do? [Sir Didymus] And I commend you. Rarely have I seen such courage. You are a valiant man, Sir Hoggle. [Hoggle] I am? [Ludo] Yeah. Hoggle and Ludo friends. [Hoggle] We are? [Ludo] Yeah. [Sarah] Here are your things. Thanks for your help. [Hoggle] Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get the rat who calls himself Jareth. [Sarah] Right. Come on. [Sir Didymus] Ambrosious, it's safe now. Nothing to be afraid of. [Goblin] Your Highness! Your Highness, the girl -- [Jareth] What? [Goblin] Who ate the peach, forgot everything. [Jareth] What of her? [Goblin] She's here with the monster and Sir Didymus and the dwarf who works for you. [Jareth] What? [Goblin] They're on their way to the castle! [Jareth] Stop her! Call out the guards. Take the baby and hide it. Guards! She must be stopped. Do something! Come on, move. Move! *** [Sarah] I think we're gonna make it. [Hoggle] Oh, piece of cake. [Goblins] Company, halt. [Goblins] Lances ready! [Goblins] Cannon, fire! [Sir Didymus] Ambrosious, turn around. Turn about.
[Sarah] Quick, this way. [Sarah] Be careful. Okay. Through here. [Sir Didymus] Ambrosiouis, stand still. [Sarah] Okay, come on, guys. [Sir Didymus] Ambrosious, if you don't turn around this second, I will never feed you again. That's better. Don't worry, Ambrosious. I think we've got them surrounded. [Sarah] Didymus! Where's Didymus! [Goblin] Fire! [Goblin] I hit something, yes? No? [Sarah] We've got to find Didymus. Down this way. [Sir Didymus] Charge! Tallyho! Ambrosious, you coward. [Sarah] Quick, in here. [Hoggle] How's Ludo gonna get in? [Goblin] You in there, you're surrounded! [Ludo] Surrounded? [Sarah] Get out! Ludo, hold the roof! [Hoggle] Take that! [Sarah] Hungry? [Sir Didymus] Ambrosious, unlock this door. So, had enough, have you? Then throw down your weapons, and I'll see that you're well-treated. [Sarah] Ludo! [Sir Didymus] Next time, surrender. [Goblin] Good grief! [Goblin] Steady, men. [Goblin] Steady, men. Hold your ground. Okay, I take it back. Run for your lives! [Goblin] I've had enough! I'm going to bed. [Goblin] Get out of my house! [Sarah] Whoa, Nellie! Duck! [Hoggle] Missed! [Sarah] Okay, come on. [Goblin] Fire! Hey, I just fired you. [Goblin] Ouch, ouch, ouch! [Sarah] This way. [Goblin] Now we have you! [Hoggle] And now you don't. [Goblin] Hey, no problem. [Sarah] Sir Didymus! [Sir Didymus] Coming! Hi-ho, Silver! Whoa, boy. Whoa, big fella. [Sarah] This way. [Sir Didymus] Steady, boy. Ah, yes. Up we go. Up, up. Come on. Good boy. Come on. [Sarah] No. [Sir Didymus] Good boy. Come on. [Sarah] That's the only way he could have gone. [Sir Didymus] Well, then, come on. [Sarah] I have to face him alone. [Sir Didymus] But why? [Hoggle] Yes, why? [Sarah] Because that's the way it's done. [Sir Didymus] Well, if that is the way it is done, then that is the way you must do it. But you should need us -- [Hoggle] Yes, should you need us -- [Sarah] I'll call. Thank you, all of you.
[Jareth] How you've turned my world [Sarah] Toby!
[Jareth] Yes, I do [Sarah] Toby! Give me the child. [Jareth] Sarah, beware. I have been generous up until now, and I can be cruel. [Sarah] Generous? What have you done that's generous? [Jareth] Everything! Everything that you have wanted, I have done. You asked that the child be taken. I took him. You cowered before me. I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside-down, and I have done it all for you. I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous? [Sarah] Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City. For my will is as strong as yours and my -- [Jareth] Stop. Wait. Look, Sarah. Look what I'm offering you. Your dreams. [Sarah] And my kingdom as great -- [Jareth] I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. [Sarah] Kingdom as great? Damn. I can never remember that line. [Jareth] Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave. [Sarah] My kingdom as great -- My kingdom as great -- You have no power over me. *** [Sarah] Toby. Here you are. I'd like Lancelot to belong to you now. [Father] We're home. Sarah, are you home? [Sarah] Yeah. Yes, I'm home. [Ludo] Good-bye, Sarah. [Sir Didymus] Remember, fair maiden, should you need us -- [Hoggle] Yes, should you need us for any reason at all -- [Sarah] I need you, Hoggle. [Hoggle] You do? [Sarah] I don't know why, but every now and again in my life, for no reason at all, I need you. All of you. [Hoggle] You do? Well, why didn't you say so? [Sarah] Oh, Ludo! [Sir Didymus] Ambrosious, good boy, good boy. I say, does anyone here want to play a game of Scrabble?
[Jareth] You remind me of the babe.
Daddy, Daddy, get me out of here. Heard about a place today
|
|||