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THE CONDUCT OF LIFE |
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ILLUSIONS Flow, flow the waves hated, Some years ago, in company with an agreeable parter
day in exploring the Mammoth Cave in Kentucky. We traversed, through
spacious galleries affording a solid masonry foundation for the town and
county overhead, the six or eight black miles from the mouth of the
cavern to the innermost recess which tourists visit, — a niche or grotto
made of one seamless stalactite, and called, I believe, Serena's Bower.
I lost the light of one day. I saw high domes, and bottomless pits;
heard the voice of unseen waterfalls; paddled three quarters of a mile
in the deep Echo River, whose waters are peopled with the blind fish;
crossed the streams "Lethe" and "Styx;" plied with music and guns the
echoes in these alarming galleries; saw every form of stalagmite and
stalactite in the sculptured and fretted chambers, — icicle,
orange-flower, acanthus, grapes, and snowball. We shot Bengal lights
into the vaults and groins of the sparry cathedrals, and examined all
the masterpieces which the four combined engineers, water, limestone,
gravitation, and time, could make in the dark. The mysteries and scenery of the cave had the same
dignity that belongs to all natural objects, and which shames the fine
things to which we foppishly compare them. I remarked, especially, the
mimetic habit, with which Nature, on new instruments, hums her old
tunes, making night to mimic day, and chemistry to ape vegetation. But I
then took notice, and still chiefly remember, that the best thing which
the cave had to offer was an illusion. On arriving at what is called the
"Star-Chamber," our lamps were taken from us by the guide, and
extinguished or put aside, and, on looking upwards, I saw or seemed to
see the night heaven thick with stars glimmering more or less brightly
over our heads, and even what seemed a comet flaming among them. All the
party were touched with astonishment and pleasure. Our musical friends
sung with much feeling a pretty song, "The stars are in the quiet sky,"
&c., and I sat down on the rocky floor to enjoy the serene picture. Some
crystal specks in the black ceiling high overhead, reflecting the light
of a half-hid lamp, yielded this magnificent effect. I own, I did not like the cave so well for eking out
its sublimities with this theatrical trick. But I have had many
experiences like it, before and since; and we must be content to be
pleased without too curiously analyzing the occasions. Our conversation
with Nature is not just what it seems. The cloud-rack, the sunrise and
sunset glories, rainbows, and northern lights are not quite so spheral
as our childhood thought them; and the part our organization plays in
them is too large. The senses interfere everywhere, and mix their own
structure with all they report of. Once, we fancied the earth a plane,
and stationary. In admiring the sunset, we do not yet deduct the
rounding, coordinating, pictorial powers of the eye. The same interference from our organization creates
the most of our pleasure and pain. Our first mistake is the belief that
the circumstance gives the joy which we give to the circumstance. Life
is an ecstasy. Life is sweet as nitrous oxide; and the fisherman
dripping all day over a cold pond, the switchman at the railway
intersection, the farmer in the field, the negro in the rice-swamp, the
fop in the street, the hunter in the woods, the barrister with the jury,
the belle at the ball, all ascribe a certain pleasure to their
employment, which they themselves give it. Health and appetite impart
the sweetness to sugar, bread, and meat. We fancy that our civilization
has got on far, but we still come back to our primers. We live by our imaginations, by our admirations, by
our sentiments. The child walks amid heaps of illusions, which he does
not like to have disturbed. The boy, how sweet to him is his fancy! how
dear the story of barons and battles! What a hero he is, whilst he feeds
on his heroes! What a debt is his to imaginative books! He has no better
friend or influence, than Scott, Shakspeare, Plutarch, and Homer. The
man lives to other objects, but who dare affirm that they are more real?
Even the prose of the streets is full of refractions. In the life of the
dreariest alderman, fancy enters into all details, and colors them with
rosy hue. He imitates the air and actions of people whom he admires, and
is raised in his own eyes. He pays a debt quicker to a rich man than to
a poor man. He wishes the bow and compliment of some leader in the
state, or in society; weighs what he says; perhaps he never comes nearer
to him for that, but dies at last better contented for this amusement of
his eyes and his fancy. The world rolls, the din of life is never hushed. In
London, in Paris, in Boston, in San Francisco, the carnival, the
masquerade is at its height. Nobody drops his domino. The unities, the
fictions of the piece it would be an impertinence to break. The chapter
of fascinations is very long. Great is paint; nay, God is the painter;
and we rightly accuse the critic who destroys too many illusions.
Society does not love its un-maskers. It was wittily, if somewhat
bitterly, said by D'Alembert, "qu'un etat de vapeur etait un etat
tres facheux, parcequ'il nous faisait voir les choses comme elles sont."
I find men victims of illusion in all parts of life. Children, youths,
adults, and old men, all are led by one bawble or another. Yoganidra,
the goddess of illusion, Proteus, or Momus, or Gylfi's Mocking, — for
the Power has many names, — is stronger than the Titans, stronger than
Apollo. Few have overheard the gods, or surprised their secret. Life is
a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. All is
riddle, and the key to a riddle is another riddle. There are as many
pillows of illusion as flakes in a snow-storm. We wake from one dream
into another dream. The toys, to be sure, are various, and are graduated
in refinement to the quality of the dupe. The intellectual man requires
a fine bait; the sots are easily amused. But everybody is drugged with
his own frenzy, and the pageant marches at all hours, with music and
banner and badge. Amid the joyous troop who give in to the charivari,
comes now and then a sad-eyed boy, whose eyes lack the requisite
refractions to clothe the show in due glory, and who is afflicted with a
tendency to trace home the glittering miscellany of fruits and flowers
to one root. Science is a search after identity, and the scientific whim
is lurking in all corners. At the State Fair, a friend of mine
complained that all the varieties of fancy pears in our orchards seem to
have been selected by somebody who had a whim for a particular kind of
pear, and only cultivated such as had that perfume; they were all alike.
And I remember the quarrel of another youth with the confectioners,
that, when he racked his wit to choose the best comfits in the shops, in
all the endless varieties of sweetmeat he could only find three flavors,
or two. What then? Pears and cakes are good for something; and because
you, unluckily, have an eye or nose too keen, why need you spoil the
comfort which the rest of us find in them? I knew a humorist, who, in a
good deal of rattle, had a grain or two of sense. He shocked the company
by maintaining that the attributes of God were two, — power and
risibility; and that it was the duty of every pious man to keep up the
comedy. And I have known gentlemen of great stake in the community, but
whose sympathies were cold, — presidents of colleges, and governors, and
senators, — who held themselves bound to sign every temperance pledge,
and act with Bible societies, and missions, and peace-makers, and cry
Hist-a-boy! to every good dog. We must not carry comity too far, but
we all have kind impulses in this direction. When the boys come into my
yard for leave to gather horse-chestnuts, I own I enter into Nature's
game, and affect to grant the permission reluctantly, fearing that any
moment they will find out the imposture of that showy chaff. But this
tenderness is quite unnecessary; the enchantments are laid on very
thick. Their young life is thatched with them. Bare and grim to tears is
the lot of the children in the hovel I saw yesterday; yet not the less
they hung it round with frippery romance, like the children of the
happiest fortune, and talked of "the dear cottage where so many joyful
hours had flown." Well, this thatching of hovels is the custom of the
country. Women, more than all, are the element and kingdom of illusion.
Being fascinated, they fascinate. They see through Claude-Lorraines. And
how dare any one, if he could, pluck away the coulisses, stage
effects, and ceremonies, by which they live? Too pathetic, too pitiable,
is the region of affection, and its atmosphere always liable to
mirage. We are not very much to blame for our bad marriages.
We live amid hallucinations; and this especial trap is laid to trip up
our feet with, and all are tripped up first or last. But the mighty
Mother who had been so sly with us, as if she felt that she owed us some
indemnity, insinuates into the Pandora-box of marriage some deep and
serious benefits, and some great joys. We find a delight in the beauty
and happiness of children, that makes the heart too big for the body. In
the worst-assorted connections there is ever some mixture of true
marriage. Teague and his jade get some just relations of mutual respect,
kindly observation, and fostering of each other, learn something, and
would carry themselves wiselier, if they were now to begin. 'Tis fine for us to point at one or another fine
madman, as if there were any exempts. The scholar in his library is
none. I, who have all my life heard any number of orations and debates,
read poems and miscellaneous books, conversed with many geniuses, am
still the victim of any new page; and, if Marmaduke, or Hugh, or
Moosehead, or any other, invent a new style or mythology, I fancy that
the world will be all brave and right, if dressed in these colors, which
I had not thought of. Then at once I will daub with this new paint; but
it will not stick. 'Tis like the cement which the peddler sells at the
door; he makes broken crockery hold with it, but you can never buy of
him a bit of the cement which will make it hold when he is gone. Men who make themselves felt in the world avail
themselves of a certain fate in their constitution, which they know how
to use. But they never deeply interest us, unless they lift a corner of
the curtain, or betray never so slightly their penetration of what is
behind it. 'Tis the charm of practical men, that outside of their
practicality are a certain poetry and play, as if they led the good
horse Power by the bridle, and preferred to walk, though they can ride
so fiercely. Bonaparte is intellectual, as well as Caesar; and the best
soldiers, sea-captains, and railway men have a gentleness, when off
duty; a good-natured admission that there are illusions, and who shall
say that he is not their sport? We stigmatize the cast-iron fellows, who
cannot so detach themselves, as "dragon-ridden," "thunder-stricken," and
fools of fate, with whatever powers endowed. Since our tuition is through emblems and indirections,
'tis well to know that there is method in it, a fixed scale, and rank
above rank in the phantasms. We begin low with coarse masks, and rise to
the most subtle and beautiful. The red men told Columbus, "they had an
herb which took away fatigue;" but he found the illusion of "arriving
from the east at the Indies" more composing to his lofty spirit than any
tobacco. Is not our faith in the impenetrability of matter more sedative
than narcotics? You play with jackstraws, balls, bowls, horse and gun,
estates and politics; but there are finer games before you. Is not time
a pretty toy? Life will show you masks that are worth all your
carnivals. Yonder mountain must migrate into your mind. The fine
star-dust and nebulous blur in Orion, "the portentous year of Mizar and
Alcor," must come down and be dealt with in your household thought. What
if you shall come to discern that the play and playground of all this
pompous history are radiations from yourself, and that the sun borrows
his beams? What terrible questions we are learning to ask! The former
men believed in magic, by which temples, cities, and men were swallowed
up, and all trace of them gone. We are coming on the secret of a magic
which sweeps out of men's minds all vestige of theism and beliefs which
they and their fathers held and were framed upon. There are deceptions of the senses, deceptions of the
passions, and the structural, beneficent illusions of sentiment and of
the intellect. There is the illusion of love, which attributes to the
beloved person all which that person shares with his or her family, sex,
age, or condition, nay, with the human mind itself. 'Tis these which the
lover loves, and Anna Matilda gets the credit of them. As if one shut up
always in a tower, with one window, through which the face of heaven and
earth could be seen, should fancy that all the marvels he beheld
belonged to that window. There is the illusion of time, which is very
deep; who has disposed of it? or come to the conviction that what seems
the succession of thought is only the distribution of wholes into
causal series? The intellect sees that every atom carries the whole of
Nature; that the mind opens to omnipotence; that, in the endless
striving and ascents, the metamorphosis is entire, so that the soul doth
not know itself in its own act, when that act is perfected. There is
illusion that shall deceive even the elect. There is illusion that shall
deceive even the performer of the miracle. Though he make his body, he
denies that he makes it. Though the world exist from thought, thought is
daunted in presence of the world. One after the other we accept the
mental laws, still resisting those which follow, which however must be
accepted. But all our concessions only compel us to new profusion. And
what avails it that science has come to treat space and time as simply
forms of thought, and the material world as hypothetical, and withal our
pretension of property and even of self-hood are fading with the
rest, if, at last, even our thoughts are not finalities; but the
incessant flowing and ascension reach these also, and each thought which
yesterday was a finality, to-day is yielding to a larger generalization? With such volatile elements to work in, 'tis no wonder
if our estimates are loose and floating. We must work and affirm, but we
have no guess of the value of what we say or do. The cloud is now as big
as your hand, and now it covers a county. That story of Thor, who was
set to drain the drinking-horn in Asgard, and to wrestle with the old
woman, and to run with the runner Lok, and presently found that he had
been drinking up the sea, and wrestling with Time, and racing with
Thought, describes us who are contending, amid these seeming trifles,
with the supreme energies of Nature. We fancy we have fallen into bad
company and squalid condition, low debts, shoe-bills, broken glass to
pay for, pots to buy, butcher's meat, sugar, milk, and coal. `Set me
some great task, ye gods! and I will show my spirit.' `Not so,' says the
good Heaven; `plod and plough, vamp your old coats and hats, weave a
shoestring; great affairs and the best wine by and by.' Well, 'tis all
phantasm; and if we weave a yard of tape in all humility, and as well as
we can, long hereafter we shall see it was no cotton tape at all, but
some galaxy which we braided, and that the threads were Time and Nature. We cannot write the order of the variable winds. How
can we penetrate the law of our shifting moods and susceptibility? Yet
they differ as all and nothing. Instead of the firmament of yesterday,
which our eyes require, it is to-day an eggshell which coops us in; we
cannot even see what or where our stars of destiny are. From day to day,
the capital facts of human life are hidden from our eyes. Suddenly the
mist rolls up, and reveals them, and we think how much good time is
gone, that might have been saved, had any hint of these things been
shown. A sudden rise in the road shows us the system of mountains, and
all the summits, which have been just as near us all the year, but quite
out of mind. But these alternations are not without their order, and we
are parties to our various fortune. If life seem a succession of dreams,
yet poetic justice is done in dreams also. The visions of good men are
good; it is the undisciplined will that is whipped with bad thoughts and
bad fortunes. When we break the laws, we lose our hold on the central
reality. Like sick men in hospitals, we change only from bed to bed,
from one folly to another; and it cannot signify much what becomes of
such castaways, — wailing, stupid, comatose creatures, — lifted from bed
to bed, from the nothing of life to the nothing of death. In this kingdom of illusions we grope eagerly for
stays and foundations. There is none but a strict and faithful dealing
at home, and a severe barring out of all duplicity or illusion there.
Whatever games are played with us, we must play no games with ourselves,
but deal in our privacy with the last honesty and truth. I look upon the
simple and childish virtues of veracity and honesty as the root of all
that is sublime in character. Speak as you think, be what you are, pay
your debts of all kinds. I prefer to be owned as sound and solvent, and
my word as good as my bond, and to be what cannot be skipped, or
dissipated, or undermined, to all the eclat in the universe. This
reality is the foundation of friendship, religion, poetry, and art. At
the top or at the bottom of all illusions, I set the cheat which still
leads us to work and live for appearances, in spite of our conviction,
in all sane hours, that it is what we really are that avails with
friends, with strangers, and with fate or fortune. One would think from the talk of men, that riches and
poverty were a great matter; and our civilization mainly respects it.
But the Indians say, that they do not think the white man with his brow
of care, always toiling, afraid of heat and cold, and keeping within
doors, has any advantage of them. The permanent interest of every man
is, never to be in a false position, but to have the weight of Nature to
back him in all that he does. Riches and poverty are a thick or thin
costume; and our life — the life of all of us — identical. For we
transcend the circumstance continually, and taste the real quality of
existence; as in our employments, which only differ in the
manipulations, but express the same laws; or in our thoughts, which wear
no silks, and taste no ice-creams. We see God face to face every hour,
and know the savor of Nature. The early Greek philosophers Heraclitus and Xenophanes
measured their force on this problem of identity. Diogenes of Apollonia
said, that unless the atoms were made of one stuff, they could never
blend and act with one another. But the Hindoos, in their sacred
writings, express the liveliest feeling, both of the essential identity,
and of that illusion which they conceive variety to be. "The notions, `I
am,' and `This is mine,' which influence mankind, are but
delusions of the mother of the world. Dispel, O Lord of all creatures!
the conceit of knowledge which proceeds from ignorance." And the
beatitude of man they hold to lie in being freed from fascination. The intellect is stimulated by the statement of truth
in a trope, and the will by clothing the laws of life in illusions. But
the unities of Truth and of Right are not broken by the disguise. There
need never be any confusion in these. In a crowded life of many parts
and performers, on a stage of nations, or in the obscurest hamlet in
Maine or California, the same elements offer the same choices to each
new comer, and, according to his election, he fixes his fortune in
absolute Nature. It would be hard to put more mental and moral
philosophy than the Persians have thrown into a sentence: — "Fooled thou must be, though wisest of the wise: There is no chance, and no anarchy, in the universe.
All is system and gradation. Every god is there sitting in his sphere.
The young mortal enters the hall of the firmament: there is he alone
with them alone, they pouring on him benedictions and gifts, and
beckoning him up to their thrones. On the instant, and incessantly, fall
snow-storms of illusions. He fancies himself in a vast crowd which sways
this way and that, and whose movement and doings he must obey: he
fancies himself poor, orphaned, insignificant. The mad crowd drives
hither and thither, now furiously commanding this thing to be done, now
that. What is he that he should resist their will, and think or act for
himself? Every moment, new changes, and new showers of deceptions, to
baffle and distract him. And when, by and by, for an instant, the air
clears, and the cloud lifts a little, there are the gods still sitting
around him on their thrones, — they alone with him alone. THE END
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